Alcoholism Support Group

Hi Humng and welcome to the forum,

I think there are only two "now whats" - continue drinking with all the grief and shame that brings, or figure out a way to quit completely. There are lots of great programs and tools available. Why not start learning about what's available?

Look forward to hearing about your progress!

Thank You Lucy

I think I will take the second "Now what" so done living this way.. (Or not living I should say)

ThankU

Hello HumngBrd00,

The “NOW WHAT” depends on what the problem is and what you want to do about it.

The first thing that most people do in when they have a problem with drinking is to either cut back on it or stop completely and most drinkers can do either of those without too much bother. If you are one of that ninety per cent you should have little or no trouble in dealing with the problem. You haven’t given many details but I’m guessing that you may be thinking that you belong to the other ten per cent who are addicted to alcohol. If that is the case your options are quite simple. You can continue to drink but you should bear in mind that alcoholism is a progressive illness and that it always gets worse, never better. The only other option is total abstinence from alcohol.

This is where the ‘now what’ starts as there are various opinions on what is the best way to achieve that long term sobriety. I only tried one way and it works so I stick with it and that is the AA way. You’ve been to meetings with your mother so why not check them out again. If you decide that AA is not for you the bar and the off-licence will still be open.

Hello PJ45

I remember when I was a teen going to AA meetings and to Alanon,, thinking that I was never going to drink cause I didn't want my life to be as depressing as what I would listen to.. Um.. Yeah Mine has been the worst story I have ever heard, I have been in denial for to many years now, not wanting to admit that I have turned out just like my parents,turning to this beast to make all the shame go numb.
I looked into meeting in my area and have been one foot out the door to go then my boyfriend brings it in the house, after I have expressed that I no longer want to drink.. Thanx for the advice and replying I don't feel so ALONE.

I know this Guy who said " Now pick up your bed and walk." I have a sob story too... But I just don't have time to tell you about um cause If i stop doing what I am doing it all may catch up with me then I 'll be right back to the Same Old Bul#&!*#.(SOB) Aloha

Hello HumngBrd00,

I have heard your story many times at AA meetings where people who had an alcoholic parent swore that they would never touch a drop but sooner or later they did and they too became alcoholics. You are definitely not alone and no matter what your story is or how much shame you feel, many other people who are sober today have done the same and worse in their drinking days.

You are dealing with a serious problem but it is one that you can recover from. However, you need to make sobriety your very top priority and do what needs to be done. That means laying down the law to the boyfriend and if necessary, parting ways with him. The alternative is to do nothing and if you do nothing you will end up with nothing.

What I would suggest is to put everything else on hold for now and go to AA meetings. Don’t let anything short of some natural disaster get in your way. Once you get to a meeting, talk to female members over a coffee before or after the meeting and tell them that you are new. They will look after you until you find your way around. Approach it with an open mind and listen, even if you don’t always agree with what is being said. When I went to that first meeting I was told that I need never drink again and I thought that was a crazy thing to say. However, I have not had a drink since that day.

Don’t think about meetings, just go.

I suggest that you put being sober your # 1 priority, if boy friend show up with alcohol ask him to leave and take the alcohol with him. You may one day discover that the man you thought was your boyfriend wasreally your drinking buddy and you were his drinking buddy. he may disappear if you show serious signs of not drinking. If he does leave then you have not lost anyone who truely caredabout you. he may be in denial that he has a problem and hide behind you. He can tell himself that he is buying the alcohol for you and that eve if yousay you don'twant it he knows that you do so he is providing it. He is really providing it for a drinking buddy not someone whose wishes and interests he takes seriously.