What is Ages 9-11 Tweens
Preteen is a person between nine and twelve (but this age could sometimes extend up to the age of 15) before that person becomes a teenager. It is a relatively recent term used to ...
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Feel like going to explode!!!
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I feel I am underwater as much as i try i never can get my head above it. I am new so i mostly want to get this off my chest but also need advice so i might sound like I am rambling. I am 19yrs old i fell at work tore my minicus in my knee threw bloodclot. I am gaurdian of two of my cousins Naomi who is 9yrs and amoni who is going on 2yrs. Their mother is dying of type 4 lung cancer she never smoked or hardly ever been sick. anyways my mother is suffering with ministrokes so the court wouldn't allow her have custody of the kids so i stepped in. I live with my parents my dad works long hours., my mom has her good day and bad and now lost her part time job her employers going out of business. i am on disibilities checks as my mother is as well. plus with 2 kids now i am diagnosed with Lupus. i feel like i am being pulled in every direction. I am mostly worried about 9yr old naomi her mom is dying up in cancer ward in another state. her real father is jail/drugs and her step father only cares about amoni his real child doesn't want anything to do with naomi. What am suppose to do or even say? her mom is dying, her step-father doesn't want her, sometimes on bad days she is taking care of my mother, plus deal with her lil sister, she know medically something is up with me, and her grades are slipping. So far were the only family who can afford to feed her right now. I mean she be 10yrs old soon and has to share a queen size bed with me. she has no room for herself. I am REALLY worried about her grades. she is really smart and i tried councling it doesn't work.
Posted on 09/29/09, 03:09 am |
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i can sense the stress...my daughter is 10 and very smart, she has a chronic illness so i made the mistake of giving in all the time....now i find that by focusing on my daughters strengths such as art and reading and not so much on her grades she is listening to me and her mother a lot better, find something she likes and encourage it 
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thanks naomi likes to sing gave her karoke on wii.
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Wow. You have more on your plate than most 19 year olds could handle. If I were there I'd give you a big hug. You have a lot going on including problems with your own health, grief in your household, and financial issues.
I would recommend that you say the serenity prayer a lot - because there are many things about the situation that you cannot change. Also to put your own health first and make certain you are taking your medication for Lupus. I have a cousin with Lupus that has managed her condition - she married, adopted children, and is now about 50 years old and doing fairly well. But you have to manage that condition closely. As for your new daughter - you need to help her understand that she is a child and cannot change the hearts of adults and that this is not her job to do. That her mom is not physically capable of caring for her and that dad is not spiritually or mentally prepared to be a parent. And that her hope is that her own life is just beginning and she will be able to create the life she wants by making one good decision after another. That her past does not have to be her future. That there are kind people in the world, such as you, that will be there to love her. That God loves her. But that she needs to love and care for herself each day, to put her studies above all else, to find an outlet for her grief and pain such as writing, drawing, etc. I pray you are all okay as I write this, and that you are having a good day. Take it one day at a time.
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Oh hun I think your amazing and I can understand why you feel like your going to explode. Any one of your situations on there own is stressful but pile them all together and wow that's alot of stress. I have been living with Lupus for almost 10 years now and I have a 9 year old daughter and I can tell you stress is not going to help your Lupus at all. I wish I could give you answers but I can't but I reallt do hope that everything works out for you. All you can do is your best and all that little girl wants from you is love so don't be too hard on yourself I bet your doing a great job.
The lupus support group here on Daily strenght is fantastic if you havn't already found it. Take Care lovie Jackie XXXX
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I think for 19 Your sure have alot on you Hon.
But if you don't take care of yourself,then you won't be any good to your niece. Love is the main ingredient a child needs. I know she has that with you. You sound so overwhelmed. I wish I could help. One day at a time OK? Talking is the main key with her. Let her know she can talk to you about anything. School is her job number 1 thing you want her to do. Good luck Sweetie.
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