Parenting 'Tweens (9-12) Support Group

find another therapist. if you do not feel like the one you have is working, I do not know your pain,but I know that it must be hard for you, but think of the child, they cannot help who they look like, and how they came into the world. but they are a blessing you and you are a blessing to them, God put you toegther, if you have a good therapist they cn help you overcome these feelings, and help you come up with solutins to help your child with their behavior, part of why they may be acting out too,is because they feel your feelings, do not be hard on yourself, you area good mom and you just need to fine hang in there the right kind of support,. hang in there and everythingwill be okay/

Is the child very young? There are many women who have been raped who give their children up for adoption for the very reasons you mentioned. My mom has a friend who did. Ask people close to you who know the situation, what they think would be best for both the mother and child. It's had to say what would be best. If the decision is to give the child up, know that there are many, many couples who would love to give a child a loving home. I wish you the very best in this difficult decision.

My baby is now 10 y/o, i love her to pieces..but even tho i hv given her all she needs plus..i feel as if there was so much more i could hv done, but bc of what happened...i can't fully open up to her.
i feel so sad, i hv so much more knowledge now that i hv 4 children..i wish i could start all over...jus so that i could give her more love & raise her w/ a diff attitude. I still hv feelings of hatred towards him & i can't let go. Ur right Jilly..i believe she can sense that.
I need to pray hard so that God can help me get rid of that feeling. Don't get me wrong, I hv been a terrific mommy to her..but now that I hv more children..i can tell my att towards her is diff than to the other kids. I am much more picky, authoritarian & of a perfectionist.

I have more then one child too. I love them all the equally. yet love them differently. each one is different and do not all require the same approach when dealing with them, does not make you a unfit parent, makes you a parent that sees her kids as individuals and meets their needs differently. I know that you feel counselingwill not help, but if you find a good one then it does help, there is no shame in how you feel,the shame is knowing you feel that way and not getting help., I am not saying that to be mean, hang in there. we are there for you,

i appreciate the support i hv been given,
thank you.
i will make it a mission to search for a good counselor : )

Is she your oldest? I have noticed a lot of parents have the hardest time w/ the oldest - they are harder on them and expect more of them. So part of it could be that too. Don't be so hard on yourself. Its good that you notice and can work on that. Give yourself some credit!

It's great that you recongnize that you need help. At the age of 10, your daughter certainly knows how you feel no matter how hard you try to hide it. For the sake of your entire family, find a great therapist who can help you and your daughter through this. Take care, sweetie, and I wish you the very best.

Whatever flaws you feel you have committed in raising her, giving her away will hurt her a lot more than that! Calm down, you don't have to be perfect, and go with her to counseling. YOo may be surprised.

I'll try a little harder not to take things too seriously n' become less of a perfectionist.

Thank you all!!!xoxox