Parenting Preschoolers (3-5) Support Group

Be patient. If she has negative associations with poop the potty could become a source of stress for her. Just let her be for a while. Let her heal some more. I speak from experience. My son was so scared of pooping on the potty that he would hold it in till it was hoplessly stuck. Imagine the pain that would cause her delicate system.
He just turned four. from 3 1/2 to 4 I just left him alone about it and suddenly he decided that he could do it. I immediately took away the diapers during the day and put him in Big Boy undies and we have not had a poo accident yet.
Let her heal. Don't worry about the pressure society puts on us for not having them trained by a certain age. They are ready when they are ready.
Good luck!

Some more thoughts. Go to the store with her right now and get some construction paper for a potty chart, have her pick out some stickers. Tell her the stickers are for her potty chart when she's ready. Also have her pick out some big girl undies, tell her they are also for when she's ready to use the potty.
There are some good potty chart making tips on "e-how". Have her help you make it. Make it as fun and exciting as you can.
Pick up some lollipops or an equivilant treat that is safe for her tummy as rewards for pooping on the potty.
I started out with toy rewards for five stickers, then ten, then fifteen but it got expensive once he got the hang of it.

I think we had our potty chart hanging on the bathroom wall for about two months before we started using it so no pressure to hurry her. You are just letting her know that you and she are getting ready for using the potty like a big girl.
The whole process took my son and I about four months. The really fun part is when she starts telling you she has to go every ten minutes then she doesn't. Try not to let her see you frustrated about it all just let her get comfortable practicing sitting there.
We didn't get it done until pre-school started so mine is not in school but it sounds like time is on your side and you'll probably be able to get all together before school starts next year.

We tried the reward chart. It didnt work. Rewards for some reason do not work. In fact they backfire on me alot with different things. She is a stubborn kid and she knows the rewards mean I want her to do it. Now I just do the natural consequences thing- like if you pee in your pants when we are out you are done with your outing for the day

Right now we are just peeing in the potty during the morning hours and she gets a pullup after 2 pm. This gives her a chance to poop everyday and helps keep her regular.-and hopefully let her make it thru preschool because she HAS to go to preschool because I will be home with the new baby (I am expecting in June) and I will need a break in the mornings.

I tried the reward chart too about a year before and he was very stubborn and it didn't work for me either. When I talked to the doctor about it, it was about 7 months after I gave up on rewards. She said if something didn't work before that doesn't mean it won't work later. She was right. She said find something he really wants and use it. Like going to school. Or a really cool toy or trip to the park. Something they really like.
She suggested I take him to the school and have the teacher talk to him about how he has to be able to go on the potty all the time before he can go to school. Maybe if you are still having trouble by the end of summer you can try it. Meantime, get her hyped about going to school.
I think you'll make it regardless of what you do. Just remember to pretend it's no big deal."you wanna go poop on the potty?" (all excited) She says "no" you say "OK" and drop it. That was hard for me, I have twin babies. I'm tired of diapers.
I'm not sure how I feel about pull-ups but I do understand the importance of making sure she poops every day. Boy do I know about that!

If you have hard floors this is an idea (also better in summer when they are outdoors all the time):
We kind of made my son go cold turkey (he was about 2 at the time) First we tried making him go around bare bum all the time. We have no carpets so we could risk it. Every so often (maybe once or twice a day) I took him to the toilet but if he didn't do it, no probs. He would beg for his nappy when he finally needed to go, but we said we didn't have anymore more nappies and the shops didn't have any either. He would run around like a mad chicken and then the poo would hit the deck. This actually freaked him out a little and he would run away from his poo like it was going to attack him or something! So, we just put him in normal undies. It made him feel more secure. When he did poo in the undies it felt very strange and yuck to him, he really didn't like it at all. After doing that 3 or 4 times he asked for the toilet himself.
Good luck with it, sometimes it feels like you're going to spend the rest of your life changing nappies huh.. and they're so expensive...
KC

I laughed so hard at the mad chicken thing. That was hysterical! Thank you for adding humor to an aggravating situation.

I was in a similar situation with my 2 1/2 yr. old. She would poop in the potty in the beginning but then she had a week where she was constipated so she cried when she pooped. I think she associated this with going on the potty, so even once her system was straightened out she still wouldn't use the potty and would go in her diaper that I still put on her at night (she would do it first thing in the morning before she woke me up, sneeky child). Anyway, after a few small accidents in her underwear she's starting going again on the potty. She's still not 100% comfortable with doing it I don't think, so she'll only go every other day. She's not holding it in and making herself constipated or in pain though, so whatever. Now she'll tell me about 100 times in an hour that she has to go and we try and she doesn't have to, but sooner or later she does go and we make a big deal our of it and she gets so proud of herself. I think that's her motivating factor now, and every time she has to go it's getting better and better. No accidents in a week or so, so we are getting there. Maybe get her a little potty that she can go to whenever she wants (that's how we started out) and it might make her feel more comfortable about doing it. My daughter used to just sit on hers for awhile watching tv and then she would just go in it. I just wouldn't push her for now and give her an opportunity to heal and to start taking the initiative to do it herself.

Well now she has decided she doesnt want to pee in the potty either. I'm so damn frustrated! The whole thing just will go fine for like 4 days and then unravel. I have decided that she is doing NOTHING FUN until; she figures this out. We stayed home all day today. She has learned that if she says she has to poop she gets a pullup so she has decided to say this all the tijme now and she will be back to pooping out little balls every damn hour.
So NOTHING FUN. No special time with her dad, no games no TV no sweet food. Nothing but the basics. I'm pregnant so I have morning sickness all the time and I swear if I have to change another damn diaper I am going to puke all over her. The smell is making me totally sick.

I'm sure it's tough, but punishing her to get her to use the potty isn't the way to go. Staying home is fine as it gives her access to it and is much easier for everyone than being out and having to go in public restrooms and whatnot. I'm sure its hard on you being pregnant and changing the diapers but getting angry with her isn't helping the situation. Maybe for now you might just have to go back to diapers and see if she decides to continue doing it on her own. I just don't think taking things away from her will help and she's too young to understand and link those two things together.

Well really, how come there are consequences for everthing else BUT this?

Yanno I really dont think potty training is so special compared to any other learned activity and that is precisly WHY she is messing up. If she refused to brush her teeth she would lose a bedtime story, why can't I do the same thing with the potty? If she refuses to put her shoes on she doesn't get to leave the house. There consequences for everything BUT the potty. And since the potty is the only thing I only reward her for and its the only thing she consistantly refuses to do, I seriously think its time to change my strategy. After all insanity would be repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results wouldnt you agree? I think all this Freudian crap has really brainwashed people.