Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

oh and she doesn't bother to even flush the toilet,, im talkin serious not caring abouta nothing here. I have to watch her like you would have to watch a 2 year old. I came home from work this weekend to find that she lined the cat shelter outside with an expensive blanket from her bed that I purchased for her not to long ago.. She makes bad choices,, its like duhhhhhh!!!!

hi, hot rain,i understand, things are the same for me, we have to love and forgive too, its tuff somes, showing them the way, helping them to grow up, not just setting rules, telling them you love them daliy

This can't be normal behavior,,

when she is grounded in a huge sense im grounded with her. I have taken the tv and music out of her room and im not going to make her stay in her room, (or should I?) which means I can't watch tv either seriously ,, im grounded from tv because she is....... it can't be on at all when she is in living room. I don't think it appropriate to make her stay in her room constantly.

your daughters behaviour sounds appalling, and you sound about ready to explode, if you can talk to a counselor yourself to try to help your stress levels do you think her behaviour would im prove if she took her meds regularly?

Hi Sounds like you are at the end of your rope. I read in your profile you are a single mom too. That makes it harder. Do you think there is something going on with your daughter she isn't telling you. Something going on at school? Lots of times teens do these things because of the growing up process, not wanting to be told what to do. But what they don't realize they are still kids and still need guidance. It is so hard to keep things in balance. I am not sure what meds your daughter is on but my daughter was on an ADD medicine for a while and she got very aggressive. It didn't help with her concentration at school either so we took her off. She also takes a depression medicine. I would do a med check and see if the stuff she is on can safely be taken together. Some combination's can mess you up. Also maybe you can work with the therapist and get help from her. Maybe you can see one together and find a middle ground. I know sometimes you look at the and think "who are you?" Hugs to you I hope things get better.

Well,, She has a learning disability (dyslexia) and is in the 8th grade, there is alot of on demand writing. She has difficulties with writing especially on demand because she can't spell very well and her writing is bad if you put her on a time limit, you would have a hard time reading it. The school does not follow the iep , i do know that much. They don't give her the accomodations she needs in the classroom, thats like beating a dead horse. Because when I start cracking down on them , they start in on her and her behaviors get worse at school. Its a mess. She will be seeing a therapist more regularly soon, as I missed a payment of her state health insurance and had to reapply for it and she has not been able to see the therapist for a month now. Hopefully that situation will be rectified within the next week and we will be on track there. There is no excuse for her not taking her meds, because they have been giving us samples of them until the insurance kicks back in. I have appointmenst scheduled for the therapy once the insurance kicks in. She is not on any add medications as we have tried those in the past and they made her psychotic. She is on Wellbutrin, topamax, thyroid meds, lexapro, b-12 vitamins, and she takes melatonin to help for sleep. Over the weekend she did not take her morning dose of wellbutrin or topamx friday, sat or sun. and she said she did it on purpose,, I was working those mornings and was not home to remind her. The doctor already explained to her that it was dangerous for her to stop taking them and she did it anyway. I don't know what to do about that. If Im not there to make her take it ,,, i can't do anything about it. I have to work......

Hug her, hold her and remind her how much you love her.

Wow, you are dealing with a lot! God obviously has a lot of confidence in your ability to get through this tough time. I will keep you in my prayers. If I were in your shoes, I would consider having her admitted to a hospital as not taking her meds could be considered as her being a danger to herself or others. This may offer the break that you need from her, and also make her realize how serious the problem is, as well as how serious you are about fixing things.

Wow! You certainly sound like you have your hands full! Who did you say was/is monitoring her medication? At 14, she is on a a lot. Wellbutrin and Lexapro are BOTH anti-depressants, why do they have her on both? I may stand to be corrected here but I do believe there are FDA guidelines about what meds they can put kids under 18 on. Wellbutrin used to be the standard antidepressant but not any more, are they trying to switch her over? The topamax is becoming a wonder drug; originally an anti seizure medication, it is now used for many other reasons such as migraine prevention or in conjunction with an anti-depressant as a mood stabilizer. In any event, any and all of these medications need to be taken regularly as most are blood level meds. Stopping them causing the level of the medication to drop in her system- this will cause erratic behavior. Unfortunately, a great deal of what you are seeing is also indicative of a teen; they are a breed of their own and can be extremely frustrating to deal with!
You are in the right place- reaching out to others. Taking care of yourself and your stress levels is very important too as it takes a great deal of energy to deal with a teenager (let alone one who is going through a difficult time). There are some great resources out there that give insight to the developing teen, the changes that are happening (chemical imbalances, moods, etc.) they don't think and process information like the rest of us!
It's imperative that she get her medications straightened out ASAP! Get her in to her doctor and have him/her explain each medication to the both of you; their side effects and potential harm if she goes off schedule. Inform the school that you are having difficulties at home with medication and that it is impacting her school performance. You can request a PPT at any time, it is your right- make them do their job and give you the support that you need! At least this will be documented in her file and you are doing your part.
Hang in there, it does get bumpy along the way:( Remember the good times, she may seem like an alien to you right now but she is your daughter, she needs you Mom.
xoxoLyn