Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

There is a self-injury group here on this site. You might join and ask of them what they wish their mother would do for them without them telling her, and apply it to your daughter. It might help. YOu will also get a better understanding of why they do it. She definately needs some counseling, but you can't really force that on her. You need to remove all the knives and razors from your home or keep them locked up.

Here are some sights that you can give to her or you can look at:
http://www.selfinjury.com/

http://www.healthyplace.com/Commun...

http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/s...

http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/200...

Do you suspect or know someone who is a cutter? If so here are some things you can do to help. First ask them, Did you, or are you thinking about hurting your self? (Its ok to ask.) Second, never ask to see the injuries, or point them out if they are visible. This may increase their feelings of low self-esteem and self hate. (Most cutters still feel low after cutting.) If their injuries require medical attention they will let you know. Third talk to them. Let them know that you're there for them. Comfort them. Ask if you can do anything for them. By talking to them they can release their feelings in a much healthier way. Finally never say any remarks like "Think you're the only one with problems?" or, "Snap out of it, its all in your mind." Remarks like these may upset the cutter in their time of need.

http://uk.msnusers.com/SelfHarmSel...


I hope this helps. These websites offer answers, resources, books, and all kinds of other help you might want to take a look at.

My daughter does it and is now in couseling for it. I also SI in many ways as well. I definitly do not want her following in my footsteps because it is so hard to stop. Believe it or not it is addictive.

That is a good point romamith. It is addictive. It's no different then drugs or booze. People do all sorts of things to ease their pain then come dependent on it for pain or for a calm or anytime things get stressful. This is no different. At first it may be a coping mechanism, but it can and often times does turn in to an addiction. The sooner you get her to talk the better.

Let me say as someone with no experience whatso ever in being a parent with a child who self-inflicts, that what ever you do don't try and force her to stop, it will only make things worse.

doesn't your body realease endorphines or something when you get hurt that make u feel better? Is this why people do this?

I used to cut myself as a teenager and it was easier to feel the pain i was inflicting on the outside of my body than to deal with the pain and feelings i was feeling inside my body. then when i was about 27 i cut my arm real bad had to go to the er, it scared me really bad and my children and parents. i NEVER did it again, but i still think about it sometimes... now my son has a problem with liking to cut, it is very addictive !

There is an amazing non profit group that deals with this sort of thing. I just joined it myself because I feel like they are actually going out and spreading the word and trying to do something. Check them out at www.myspace.com/towriteloveonherarms or www.twloha.com

hi mom 216, both my kids practiced this behavior, i went in my sons room 1 night on a gut instinct and found him in the middle of cutting himself , shit! he had a kit of blades, like you use for art, i told him how sad it made me feel and refused to leave until he told me what was wrong, the list he gave me was endless, slowly but surely we were able to deal with these things together, it takes alot of guts though you can't judge, their problems are real for them, i told him how i couldn't keep living , with knowing he " MY LOVERLY SON" was harming himself, things like , i don't want to laugh , sing , enjoy life in general if he wasn't , he got the point and eventually stopped, he has a great girl in his life now! When my daughter 3 yrs younger had some emotional probs same age she followed suite, it was easier with her, just keep cementing the worth of your child to you and eventually they will open up to you and then together you can deal xx Amigo's

There is something eating at her on the inside and I would suggest finding her counseling. Keep in mind that it might take a couple of counselors to find the right one but make sure she knows that she can tell you if she doesnt feel comfortable with someone.

I was a cutter when I was a teen when I cut I was not trying to kill myself it was a release of stress for me I soon after was sent to counseling but as strange as it sounds I would feel better calmer after and there was no addiction for me lasted about 1 school year not saying it is ok but I would be concerned just wanted to share different view (was not fun or addictive for me)