Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

dont throw him out ,hes not trash, hes your son,give him another chance,talk to the conseler, help him ,mom, love him forgive, your not perfect,just try

Thank you for your advise, I don't think I would have thrown him out but, it gets so frustrating at times telling him the same thing over and over again. You sound like a good parent. Thanks again.

I know how you feel. i'm going through it with my niece (15) now. She stayed after school yesterday for "help on homework". The thing is...she "forgot" to tell us she was staying after. I searched all over town for her. Called everyone I could think of. Freaked out on a janitor and almost got arrested for being in the school after hours. Guess what...as the police were walking me out of the building she texts me! Oh miss I'm home safe...c-ya later! Talk about mad! And now tomorrow she wants to stay again. Fine if it's to do work but I did something I'm not proud of today. She was talking to her new boyfriend on the phone and I picked up the other one. Her real plans for tomorrow are to hang with him then take the late bus home....yet she's telling me she's staying for help. What am I supposed to do? If I tell her what I know she will hate me and act out more. This isn't the first time. 2 weeks ago she was grounded for making plans, lying about them and then TELLING me what she is doing at the last minute. Once I caught her lying to me before, she was grounded. I know she's lying now but I only know cause I was sneaky...I have no way of catching her this time. What do I do? I have 4 other kids and CANNOT spend all day, every day dealing with her lying and chasing her around. Any advise would be greatly appreciated!!!! Take Care!!!!!!!

I'll give you the good news first! I have an almost 20 year old son as well and had the same problems with him. He will turn 20 next Tuesday, October 13th. He is now the son that I know I raised. He ddoesn't lie anymore, he has a great job and is really just a pleasure to be around.

The bad news is that the behavior that you are talking about, lasts a couple of years. Only when they are secure enough with who they are do they become the men or women that we raised!

My son is 17 and is being very difficult. He lies all the time, he used to smoke pot, has a really bad attitude, is often disrespectful, arrogant, etc.... BUT since I have gone through this with my oldest son and he has turned out fine, I am encouraged that the youngest one will be fine too!

Good luck and I'm sure everything will be fine in a year or so!

I think all you can do is corner them and let them trip themselves up with the lye (and they will) when it becomes obvious that they know you have caught them in a lie then you can come down on them. Tell them you will ground them from everything and make their life very isolated (no Cell phones no privileges with their friends) You have to come down on them hard enough to make it hurt. They have to learn that their consequences to their actions. As far at the girl who is lying to be with her boyfriend you,ll have to caught her. Try going to the school before she gets out and say you are there to talk to her teacher or something. You have to bust her in the act so to speak on the pretense of something else so she won't know that you already know. Another thing you can try is lie to them about something they are really counting on and when it doesn't happen remind them that you are letting them know what its like to be lied to (it seems childish but it can work). They will have to live with the fact that they have to earn your trust back which they are responsible for damaging good luck

I am convinced teenagers lie just for the sake of lying. Mine lies often, but now he's not talking to me.. Long story.. Girlfriend broke up with him - it's my fault. He got an F in Pre-Calc - it's my fault. he didn't take the trash cans out it's my fault.. I'm liking that he's not talking to me right now.
I've heard 25 is the change back time.. Crap - I'll be retiring by then.

good luck to you.

You obviously love your son or you wouldn't be here seeking advice. Nurture the relationship with your son. Let him know that you love him no matter what. Don't withhold your affection from him or make him feel not loved for punishment. I made that mistake with my son and I regret it so much now.