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Adolescence is the period of psychological and social transition between childhood and adulthood (gender-specific, manhood, or womanhood). Someone in Adolescence is called a Teenag...
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Do I mind my own business?
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My 18 year old son moved out recently, had a good job and rented a place of his own. He has since quit his job and I have been told by his roommate and girlfriend that all he does is sit at home, play video games, has late nights and is drinking. He is 18 and by his own admission, he is his own man........do I butt out or do I try to intervene, even though it would probably do no good? I feel helpless watching him go down the drain! Thanks for any advice.
Posted on 09/15/09, 05:09 pm |
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This is a tough one. My first thought is let him hit bottom. If he is saying its his life.
But that means not helping him when he comes to you for money. But I know that's easy for me to say. I have a 19 yr old son and Its not an easy thing to do. Alot would probably depend on your relationship with him. The drinking part is what scares me. Hitting bottom without money and learning the hard way you have to work is one thing. But drinking could become addicting and that's What would concern me. If he's disrespectful to you,he still may have to learn the hard way. Would he listen to what you had to say? Can you really help him get on track again? Could you be of any help really? That's what you have to answer for yourself. I hope this helps in some way. I wish you the best :) 
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Not there yet but have a sneaking suspicion (or fear) that I will be soon enough. I agree with Shewolf that some of this depends on your relationship with him. If it were my son I think I'd let him know I was concerned and why, hopefully without preaching or "going on and on" (as my kids point out I like to do). I don't think I'd expect it to help, at least not right away, but I think he would at least hear what I had to say. He may be his own man but I'm still his mom!
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(((HGUGS))) to you - sorry your going through this.
He is still a teen and remember - they know everything. If he is spouting off he is his own man preaching to him will not help. Just talking with him and letting him know your there will probably have to do for now. I agree if he comes to you for money try not to. If he needs food - feed him meals at your home or even take him out to mickie d's. My son is 16 remind me of my advise when he hits 18 and moves out please!
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Wow, do I mind my own business! the answer is yes but be supportive from afar! ONE of my PIECE of POOPS family of origin biggest problem was CONTROL and the THEY ARE GOD SYNDROME's it ruined me for years and years and years... but when my stepfather got thrown out and never came back my family sided with the monsters! THANK GOD, I was given the opportunity to become healthy and independent. Control is a disease and a breeding ground for crime, these people controlled and stole 40,000 from me when I sold my home and probably gave it to my exhusband they belong in prison!
What I am trying to tell you is .... LOVE is better off when you do it from afar if he wants your help he will ask for it!
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