Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

I don't know if it's better, but I once made my boys sit across the table facing each other until they stopped fighting. It took about 2 hours and the first 20 minutes were crazy, but they eventually figured out they weren't getting up until they could be quiet for 15 minutes straight. I completely ignored them while they did it and explained the rules beforehand. It was a good 6 months before they did it again because neither wanted to sit there for that long, so they would both just shut up after a couple minutes.

PS-I had a kitchen timer that I would restart everytime one of them said a word.

They are practicing necessary communication skills, and their objective is to get a reaction from you, which they are doing successfully (try taking a walk in the middle of one of their fights, maybe when you return they will be friendly to each other again.) I certainly hope that they do not get desert or game or computer privleges when they behave badly. That is one of the worst characteristics of the Entitlement Generation. Reward your son and daughter when they show the ability to resolve arguments in a civil and polite way, and applaud cooperative gestures while understanding that it is normal for them to attempt to establish dominance over one another occaisionally. Good luck.

A couple of years ago my niece and nephew lived with me for 9 months. They were 11 and 13 at the time, but when they fought I came up with this idea. I made them both sit on the floor back to back. They had to hook their arm's together and try to get up from the floor. The catch was, they couldn't release arms to do it. It forced them to work together and to do that they had to quit arguing. It became a tradition if I had to get involved in their arguing, then they would have to do this. Not sure why but it did work most of the times.

I dont have any advice as I am in the same boat (13 year old daughter and 10 year old son), but I just wanted to let you know that I am in the same boat. I have spent all of thier lives trying to figure out what the deal is and what I have come up with (from books and my own thoughts) is that the girls, being that they mature faster, are 12 going on 25; while the boys are 9 going on 5. Oldest children are born into a world of adults and are therfore not very patient with the younger kids ways... Like I said, I havent figured out what the answer is, but hopefully I gave you a little insight.

My son and daughter did the same thing at that age. They are just 22 months apart. Trust me when i say it will pass. They are 17 and 15 now and get along ok. One thing I did was when they started fighting is.. ( try not to laugh it did work) I would make them face each other and say " You are my sister/ brother and I love you because ......... They had to name three things. Usually by the time they were done they had forgotten what they had been fighting about. Good luck