Parenting Teenagers (12-18) Support Group

There is a home test you can buy at drug stores. I saw it at Walgreen's. I am sure it is tested with urine. So he would have to know you are testing. But if you want to know for sure. You can also take him to a lab and get a test done too. I don't know if you would need a note from the doc first. I hope when you had your talk with him you told him that if he ever wants a job he would have to stop. Most places test before they hire. Especially teens. Also if he gets caught and arrested he will have a record for life and that will deter him from going to college, college loans, future jobs. I know kids don't think it will happen to THEM but as you know it DOES. He is young and college and jobs probably seem far away but not really. I hope this helps good luck.
AC

You would like to know how to tell if your son is smoking pot?

Has he started hanging out with different friends?
Does he have a "new attitude" with you?
ARE HIS EYES RED?
Does he sleep at different times of the day than he did before?
How about the "MUNCHIES"... has his appetite been different?
Slowed speech.
Needing money more often.
You may be able to smell it in his clothes etc...
Thats all I can think of right now...
Hope it helps...

I am so thankful for this thread as this is what I am dealing with as well.

Keep in mind that your objective is really to find out WHY your son may have chosen to smoke pot; there are so many reasons - to fit in, peer pressure, to escape, to cope with anxiety, curiosity, etc. Discussions that subtly get to the root of these concerns could adress the bigger picture vs. just focusing on "catching him" and punishing.

I know when I started smoking pot it was because of stress and anxiety. When my mom found out it went really bad. She demanded I stop and didn't care why. She even told me that if I continue, it won't be under her roof. Big mistake on her part. I moved out at 16. The reason for me smoking....I was drugged and raped. But I couldn't say anything to anyone cause I lost trust and felt ashamed. The pot helped me relax. The best thing to do is find out the reason before anything else. Then once you do, talk to him about the issue. Keep in mind, he might be thinking how I was. At least it's onyl pot and not coke or heroin or anything VERY bad. Pot relaxes you. I have NEVER met someone who smoked pot and got crazy. I learned growing up that a friend of mine got caught smoking pot and her parents flipped. So she decided to do coke behind there backs cause they pissed her off so bad. Guess where she is now.....dead from an over dose. Now you ask her parents if it was a big deal smoking pot and they would say they would have rather her continue the pot and do nothing else but still have her here with them. So just be careful and don't act like it's a huge deal. It just pushes them away further. Once that happens they tend to get into things that can be horrible....Good luck, hope this helps!!!!

p.s.- i know i'm a new "mom" to a teenager but if I was to find out she smokes pot I'd rather that and I know about it than coke, heroin or whatever else there is and die. I'm not for smoking it but I look at it like this...it's pot, grows from the ground then picked, dried, cut up and smoked. I never saw someone die from it or go crazy. Not as bad as some of the other things they can do (like common household things they turn into drugs)....

I found out my 14 yr odl son was smoking pot in July, when I found a pipe in his room. I grounded him fro 2 weeks, talked to him about why I don't approve, etc..... Friday night I was at a movie and he calls me to tell me he has been arrested for possesion of THC! They gave him a $177 ticket! I am a full time student, i don't work....and I will have to pay it! There isnt anywhere around here that hires at 14, so he has to wait until Dec to get a job. I have taken away his cell phone and told him he is grounded til I decide hes not anymore. I am not even sure how to discipline him. Yelling will do no good, I dont even think grounding him will do any good..... any suggestions??

Yea no. Grounding him and taking things away won't help. At least it didn't help us. Since then my son and I went to lunch and we talked. I told him that yea I was a teenager once myself and I've been there done that. But don't hide from me. In my line of job I see lots of things that kids can be doing and I thank god that its only pot. There is a lot of things out there that our kids can be doing. Bad things. But just try to talk to your son and listening and leting them talk is very important. And to when you listen listen well and if you really think that you are about to yell just take a deep beathe and count to 10. Or even if you don't know how to react to it just I have to think about that one and get back to them.