Parenting Toddlers (1-3) Support Group

I'm not sure that it can be generalized. I have known kids who were never spanked and did some very aggresive stuff and vice versa. I, personally, believe that sometimes a spank on the bottom is called for. Never in anger or with intent to hurt though. I grew up with spanking and I can honestly say that when I got spanked, I deserved it. I still have a very loving and trusting relationship with my mom. My sister does not spank and her child is equally loving towards her, so who really knows. What works with my kid may not work with yours. Your best bet is to follow your instinct.

My husband and I, together, made a plan of execution when it came to correcting unwanted behavior and we both feel comfortable with it. We both know what to do and when so there are no surprises or hasty decisions. Hauling off and hitting a child so they feel the pain you feel is never ok and not productive.

I am very interested on seeing everyones input.

Thanks, interesting.

I agree with mcawesome, every kid is diff. But I can attest to be a "spanked" child and it didn't adversely effect me. I got what i deserved. I will try to avoid spanking my son, but if it warrant's it, he's gonna get it!

I dont resent my parents and I guarantee most people would think they went overboard spanking....
I use it for dyer cirrcumstances like running in the road...with knives...
etc...

I also agree with McAwesome....I definatly deserved it when I was little and whats more I knew that what I was doing would lead to it....and I still did it....my parents always followed through with everything.....so I think if you start out spanking kids understand that it is the consequence.....if all of a sudden one day you decided to spank when they are 5 or 6 I think that would become an issue.....

My mom was firm believer in putting the fear in me when I was child, she spanked me but I still love her no resentment or anything.. I like advoid spanking my son right now, I really like to leave as last resort punishment. I have done it lightly on the bottom during diaper changes when my son is gettting wild on the floor, but I don't spank hard to leave a mark. I don't think it abuse aslong it on the bottom and leaves no marks, light red may be okay I don't know it pushing it.

I may be alone here, but I really don't agree with spanking. As a survivor of severe childhood abuse, I've leaned towards alternatives in discipline. Step back and think about it. Hitting a child teaches the child fear, not respect. Its just as easy to take away privileges and it has the same effect without imposing fear.

I am sorry you had to go through that. I think any child who was abused very badly would feel the same way.

But I agree with everyone else. There is a HUGH difference between a spank and beating your child. Most kids don't even feel hurt (cause you don't do it hard) but it is enough to get their attention.

I am surprised we were able to have a good post this time. I have seen this question many times through out the year and it always ends in mean post and fights. Brovo!!! for keeping this mature!

Everyone has their own opinion...bottom line.

Me and my husband went to a parenting class at our church and it was the best thing we did for our children.

I personally don't believe in spanking. I have a master's degree in child psychology and I have read enough research about what happens to children who are spanked. Yes, it does not mean that any child who is spanked will end up horribly; however, I believe there are too many complications to warrant spanking. We all can talk of some child who was spanked and turned out wonderfully, but the research is fairly consistent against spanking.
Here is a link that outlines 10 reasons not to spank your children:
http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hu...
Just my opinion!

Thanks for sharing that read, Rach. Interesting about the child becoming a hitter. That could mean that corporal punishment could be a long running cycle of abuse- children do it when they are older because it is what they were taught by their parents. Has anyone stepped back to think why they choose to hit in the first place?

Here's another good read.
http://www.parentingtoolbox.com/20...

It's just a beyond me that a parent can deliver corporal punishment without feeling the slightest bit annoyance, frustration, or anger. I'm not saying that its not impossible, but its very difficult to follow through with. If anyone can enlighten me on that, I would appreciate it. (Its hard for me to see how it could be done with what I went through in my childhood)

Has anyone seen if AAP has released recent statistics on just how many parents do deliver corporal punishment? Is it down from the 1994 studies (90% of all Americans)?

I hope that no one takes what I wrote the wrong way. I have no ill intent- I just want to know what makes people do it in the first place (a part of the healing process). Thankfully, corporal punishment is illegal here to carry out in public, so I never have to see it again.

YES AND YES. Spanking is sure hard not to do if you were spanked, but I truly believe it does more harm than good.