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This community is focused on the joys, challenges and frustrations faced by parents of infants (0 - 12 months). The major areas of child development during this time period include...
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baby won't lie down
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I posted several times here about my son's sleeping problems. In short, he started waking up each 1-2 h when we was 3.5 month old (before he slept 5 and even 7 hour stretches). We tried many things, including CIO, none worked. So I started putting him in my bed. He would still wake up but it was easier on me to nurse him or shhh him to sleep.
Well he's now 8 months old so I thought I'd try to get him used to his crib, which is right next to my bed. I like sleeping with him in my bed most of the time but I hate two things: (1) He will never willingly go to sleep. I have to rock him and sing and do headstands - not really but almost, while he kicks and tries to get up to play some more. This lasts at least 30 mins, but sometimes an hour. If I let him play more he becomes overtired and whiny but will still not give up. So each night we wrestle for sleep. Then sometimes he's up in an hour and wants to get up. Some nights I manage to settle him back, others we spend 2 hours trying. I hate that I'm fighting with him for sleep and I thought it'd be great if I could put him into crib, then stay close and read something until he gets the energy out. Then he could lie down and sleep. But there's a problem. He just keeps getting up, falling down, pulling up and sometimes crying. He goes into emergency vehicle mode - high-pitched screaming - if I try to leave the room, but if I'm in he can stop crying. He won't lie down though. Last night we spent 3h like that. His eyes were almost closed but he was standing up! Finally I gave up and took him to my bed. I tried laying him down in crib myself but that just sends him into frantic crying. (2) It's very hard for me to get up during night, e.g., to go to the bathroom or to snack or to watch TV. I have to make sure he's fast asleep, then try to move him to crib since he may fall off our bed, then sneak out. And even if it all works I only get an hour or so before he's up again. I'd love it if he weren't so upset when he wakes up in his crib so that I could pat him or shhh and then get out again. As is he just starts crying and pulling up and wakes up completely. Does anyone have any advice? I think if I could get him to lie down eventually in crib he'd fall asleep and then it would just be the matter of time when he gets used to it. We have a bedtime routine for 5 months now that goes like this: he gets solids, then I bathe him and put on his jammies, then I sing a little and rock him. I tried reading a book instead of rocking, no big change. I turn the lights in the apartment, our room is not completely dark because of streetlights but it's fairly dark, there's no noise... I tried white noise, kids songs, classical music, music just for sleeping, no difference. We tried CIO for 10 days - not working either. He would cry for 2 hours straight, fall asleep from exhaustion, wake up in 1-2 hours and repeat. This was harder for me than waking up with him. Posted on 10/27/09, 04:10 pm |
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Hi there,
this sounds really difficult. I don't really have too much advice except to suggest a good book to read. It's called "The No Cry Sleep Solution". There is one for the first year, and another one for toddlers. I like her methods because she does not use the CIO method. For some childre the CIO method does not seem to work or the poor parents can't handle it! In the book she has all sorts of plans. I think you should have a look. Good luck! 
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I've never heard of CIO or "The no cry sleep solution".
My 5 month old has definite awake time and sleep time and we just follow his lead. During the daytime he may drop off after a feed but will only sleep for about 30min in his bouncer. Maybe more if I keep him on my lap but less if I put him in the cot - that usually wakes him immediately and he's ready to play some more. Could it be that you're trying to put him to bed before he's ready? So I play with him until he's ready for sleep (he gets a bit short attention span and grizzly) then feed him to sleep. If he's properly asleep I can put him in his grobag and zip it up and, even if he wakes, he'll go straight back to sleep once I pick him up. 5min of upright hugs for wind then he goes in the cot. If he wakes in the night to feed he hardly opens his eyes, just guzzles then back to the cot (or sometimes our bed if I have to pick him up and resettle more than 3 times but this is usually towards the morning when I think he's had most of the deep sleep he needs). I think I'm lucky that he goes to sleep like this between 10:30pm and midnight and wakes properly at 7-9am. I've never forced those times on him. Is it possible for you to play through the whiny phase until he's properly tired and ready for bed? I have a hard time for those last couple of hours as I'm tired too and the baby doesn't like sitting and watching TV - he likes supported sitting or standing and being talked to and shown toys etc - but my partner is home most nights and we take it in turns to play with him. It's a late bedtime (my husband often drops off before the baby!) but there's no crying and he doesn't fight sleep. I have no idea how people know when their baby 'should' sleep so I just put him to bed when he's asleep. When he's awake he won't go to sleep, not even in the car. When he's properly asleep he's hard to wake. I've no idea if what I'm doing is sensible - I'm a first timer - but my Mum warned me that I never needed much sleep during the day and as soon as I was old enough to read I'd go to bed at a 'sensible' time but read until after she'd come to bed herself. I just never needed much and a baby can't entertain itself by reading so we have to do it for them. Hard work - huh! :) Good luck - please don't put yourself through the crying method again - it sounds really traumatic :( I'll probably be asking for advice myself if my boy's schedule stops fitting in with ours as I have no idea how to change it if I need to!
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My baby is 4 1/2 weeks, and she is similar to yours in that she fights going to sleep. We drive her around in the car for about 20 minutes and that helps her to "shut off." I know that won't solve your problem, but it might help a little. I hope things get better for you soon. I can understand how frustrated you must be.
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Thanks everyone for your replies. I have "No cry sleep solution" and I read it twice before we tried CIO. I tried a few things but so very little progress. It seemed to me I could do these for months before I see any results and I was *tired* at night to be consistent. Perhaps I should try again. As for CIO I know it sounds cruel but my son is very easily angered, and hard to soothe. So he sometimes cries even when I attend very much to his needs, until I get it just right. As I was very tired at the time I thought I'd give it a try and perhaps he can learn to self-soothe in the process. I bet all these character traits will be very useful to him when he grows up - sensitivity, persistency, high-energy. It's just challenging to me while he's so little and I'm going on 8 months of no sleep :(
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Wow...Reading this I feel like I wrote it myself! I am in the same boat! My dd has been sleeping with us since 6 months, she is 9 months now and everytime I try to lay her in her crib she wakes right up...even tho she is exhausted!
I get physically tired of "fighting" with her to go to sleep! DH has a way with her, he can hold her and she falls right asleep but when I try she arches her back and screams, her little face turns bright red, and the tears start flowing! Im 6 month prego so its hard to hold her on my belly without making my belly hurt... If you figure out a routine, or a method that works PLEASE SHARE!!!! Thanks!
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Check out the book "Sleep, The Brazelton Way"
by T. Berry Brazelton, MD and Joshua Sparrow, MD. If you've never seen Dr Brazelton on TV, he's the most intelligent, gentle and intuitive person I've ever witnessed working with children. I was in the same position with my boy and was out of ideas when I found this book. He strongly stresses a bedtime ritual, same thing every night.
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