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This community is focused on the joys, challenges and frustrations faced by parents of infants (0 - 12 months). The major areas of child development during this time period include...
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My Daughter Seems to be Having Daddy Problems!
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My daughter is a month old and my fiancee and I have encountered a problem.
She is rarely content with him. Often Marlow screams and screams and he won't know what to do so he will call me. All I have to do is pick her up, or touch her face or back and she stops. This furusterates and hurts Joey and I find he is spending less and less time with her. It bothers him that she is so unsatisfied when he tries to comfort her. It's hard for me to watch the hurt on his face, and to be able to do anything myself when Marlow is distraught with him. Because Joey is spending less time with her when he's home, I have to spend more and it's overwhelming. She's not like this with her aunts, just her dad, and on occasion she cries when her uncles hold her. Is this normal? Will it pass or is there some way to help her, and Joey, get past it? Posted on 09/21/09, 02:09 am |
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I think it's normal. James was like that when he was that age. It seemed like it wasn't so much that he didn't like being held by his dad, it was that he was trying to tell his dad to pass him to his mom lol. He was the same with everyone but it happened more often with his dad because he was the one holding him the most besides me. It passed by the time he was 2 months old, partly because he started going longer periods between nursing, and partly because him and his dad could interact a little more since he started smiling and his dad was a little more comfortable with him and less afraid to "break him" lol. Now at about 9 months they have lots of fun together.. James will start getting bored with me and start laughing and smiling when he sees his dad now! : ) 
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My daughter went through a period of time where she wouldn't accept her grandmother holding her -- and my mom's been here every day pretty much since she was born! We made a point of seeing Grammie every day and making sure Grammie had lots of holding time and play time -- while Momma was right there so the baby felt "safe" -- and my daughter got over it in a week or two. Now my mom watches her at least once a week and they both love every minute of it :) I do have to say, taking the baby back and your fiance spending less time with her isn't going to get her over this any quicker!
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My daughter started this at 3 months old, as cruel as it was at about 5 months and after no let up, i started leaving the house for the day and leaving her with daddy, now i can be in the house as long as she doesnt see me or hear me, if she only has daddy there she is more than happy but if she sees me or hears me in teh bathroom the crying starts, Harriet is now 9 months and thigs are a little easier . My Health visitor was acctually the one who suggested leaving the house so she'd have no choice but to get used to daddy, i hope it lets up soon because i know it isnt easy!
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I agree with Chamelian. Do youfeel up to leaving her alone with her daddy for a few minutes at first? Gradually, you can build up the time to 15, 30, 60 minutes, and so forth. But just make sure that he is menatlly fit to deal with it, ifshe cries,, and DOES knwo what to do...like how to hold her, change diapers, etc. Maybe you cna sign up for a parenting class TOGETHER (s he will not feel singled out) and feel more reassured that what he is doing isjust fine, maybe learn a few techniques that yo may not have thought of. Good luck; it definitely does get better...as xten and the others have mentioned.
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