What is Adoption
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Adoption results in the severing of the parental responsibilities an...
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My fear is he hating me
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I am now 35 and at the time of his adoption I was only fifthteen and given no choice...I was told to go do this come home finish school and never talk about it again. I here people tell me all the time that I am some angle for doing this but, deep inside I do not feel that way. Untill you hold something for 9months and then hold them a even a second, they are apart of you. I can not explain it to anyone, but my fear is that I will never meet him again and I have this whole in my heart that noone can ever replace. From my understanding his adoptive parents are wonderful and I am grateful for this, I hope he is happy and has had a wonderful life. I still miss him and always will and noone in this world can take that from me. Yes I regret what I had to do and I haft to live with that for the rest of my life, but not a day goes by that I do not think of him.
Posted on 10/26/09, 05:10 pm |
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I really think that telling you that you are an angel doesn't mean anything, how could the traumatic loss of a child make u an angel?
they do not have a clue what u r going through and really they can't as an adoptee I wanted to find my mum and we have both tried very hard to establish a relationship I hope your son wnats this with you also I understand the loss you must feel when i found my mother and got to know her i felt like i was coming home this is hard for anyone who hasnt experienced adoption to understand don't let others diminish your feelings canse they are so valid Hopefully he will want to see you and you can explain to him how you feel and you can both heal from the forced seperation 
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Being called an Angel seems wrong to me too, I know people mean well, but they just do not understand. The pain of adoption has been there for me day after day for almost 19 years. I missed so much of my son's life. We reunited in Jan. of this year and it is wonderful to have him in my life. However it has also brought up all that I have missed and that really hurts. I know he has a great afamily, we keep in touch and talk monthly, but some how my son never really felt like he belonged there and had the need for us to meet and we have grown so close. I do hope that a reunion is in your future also, it can help heal some of the pain, it can also bring out "new" pain and feelings. I love my son so much and just wanted the best for him...adoption has really hurt him. He has so much anger in him and we are dealing with it together. I wish you the best!!
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thank you for your comments, I really appreciate them.
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I feel the exact same way. Its been 4 years and the hole in my heart seems to never heal or even get a little better. I think it will alwasy be this hard which is hard to embrace. I am lucky enough to have an open adoption and send pix,letters,cards,presents etc. to him. But it still doesnt help. Recently found out that he is being told about me and that he is adopted...I need advice...I havent sent a letter to him directly...I dont know what to say or anything or where to begin. I want him to know how much he means to me in more than just presents but I cant begin to explain anything or i just dont even know. Do I write to him, since he is beginin the awareness process of the adoption? do i leave it alone for a while during the big transition? do I back off and not send anything...my instinct is to send a letter, but again I dont know what to say...if I could just write I love you a million times thatts the only thing I think I would be able to say...but it feels like not enough....I NEED HELP WITH THIS!!!Any advice would be greatly appreciated
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