What is Adoption
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Adoption results in the severing of the parental responsibilities an...
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I have not contacted either parents. If I knew their whereabouts, I would. I have found traces of my maternal aunt and believe she lives about an hour away actually. I'm not that interested in forming a close bond or anything, I don't need an questions answered, I don't need to know "Why?" I know why. If anything, all I want to know is where my siblings who I never met are, I want to have a bond with them....I already have parents and I don't need them. But I would not be opposed to sending cards, letters and going out to coffee every so often and being cordial...As long as they werent a toxic influence in my life.
I could live my entire life without ever meeting my birth parents and be perfectly okay with that. I've met a lot of adoptees with this "need to know" attitude but it doesn't phase me even a little, it used to. Maybe it's because I was adopted so young, I was only 1. Either way, neither one of them are my mom or dad, maybe it's a little harsh but my belief is that anyone can give birth, that doesnt make them a mother (if you're adopted then you understand this better than those who arnt). Apart from meeting my sibling im just very neutral when it comes to my birth parents.... Posted on 10/10/09, 07:10 am |
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I met my birth parents in 1997 after a very short (one day!) search. I was 30 at the time and my wife had just given birth ... seemed like a good time to explore my roots.
It was a good experience overall. Over the years, my birth family has become something like distant relatives. They are out of state and not part of my daily life, but they mean a lot to me now. My adoptive parents have since died, and I find myself drawn more to my birth parents. It is very confusing at times ... what labels to use, what roles to play ... my birth mother can be somewhat emotional about it, clingy one moment and keeping her distance the next. I have met the extended birth family (including a full brother) and understand her struggle better now. She made a very brave decision all those years ago. Assuming the first meeting goes well, I think the big question you have to ask yourself is what now? What kind of relationship do you want? 
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