Adoption Support Group

I am so sorry for your loss. I just barely started the journey of adopting a baby (choose the facilitator and have our 1st phone conference next week), so I am very very new to this. As such I do not know what kind of advice to give you, and although you didn't "speak" to me, I have read your post and want to let you know that I care and my heart goes out to you.
*hugs*

Thank you, your reply means a lot. I am so happy for you going down the adoption route, I think its amazing :) Keep me up to date on how that goes :) x

I am so sorry for your loss, its making me want to cry for the pain you must be experiencing. I want to adopt a child as i cannot have any of my own, nor am i having any luck with men. For me, i know there are children who are being put up for adoption every year for any reasons. Since i will not have any, i'd like to have a child who needs a home and can call me mom. A child who i can give all to.

Have you spoken to your parents about this and how you feel? Your birth mom was not able to give you the life you deserve and did what she did. Some birth moms know this and do what they do. I know you wanted to meet her or speak to her or learn more about her. Are you able to contact her family?

Hi my name is Jennifer and I have a 20 year old adopted daughter. In April she lost her mother at the age of 47 from a heart attack. My daughter knew her mother but they hadn't been in contact much prior to her mom's death.
For her it was very difficult. She felt this need to be there and to deal with it all even though her mother did little for her when she was alive. I believe we have a bonding with our birth parent, especially a mother, that never goes away.
I feel for you and know you are not alone in your feeling this loss. For my daughter she feels there were so many things she still wanted to work through with her mom and never had the chance.
It might be a good idea to find a local support group to help you work through this.
If I can help in any way, even just to vent, I will listen.
Jennifer

Thanks for all the replies.

I always knew who my birth mother was. I had contact until I was aged 3 apparently. I can vaguely remember visiting her and my older sister. My sister was 10mths old when I was born. My real Father was an abusive woman beater who cheated and was into drugs apparently. So my mother gave me up and I dont blame her. So when I was about 3 she decided she wanted to cut contact, must have been too painful for her to see me all the time and be reminded of everything, she also didnt want my sister knowing who I really was. My parents have always said if they had their way my real mother would have been involved in my life, thats what they wanted. But for reasons I dont know that wasnt to be. So about 2yrs ago my older sister tracked me down on twitter and we have spoken all this time. She found out about me when she was 15. She was very bitter about it all. I think she hated the mum for giving me away. I also have a half sister who is now 15. Even tho we spoke online via twitter and texting we never actually met up face to face until the day of the funeral. My sister tells me my real mum regretted giving me up. I know she had a hard life and turned to drink quite a lot to cope. I was fine until the day of the funeral, it didnt hit me properly until that morning. I woke up and just burst into tears. My mum n dad drove me to the funeral home where her body was, closed coffin so I never got to see her. I spent some time with her and told her I didnt ever blame her and I hoped she was finally at peace. Since she died, crazy things have been happening. One night my partner was working nightshift, he came home at 1am. Next morning he asked why I left the front door lying wide open. I told him I hadnt. He said he came home, 1am front gate and front door both lying wide open! That was the night before the funeral. I have a baby in the house so theres no way Id have left the door unlocked! Another incident; we have a solar light sitting on the kitchen window, it was meant for her grave but I forgot to take it. One other night the partner came home late and the solar light was moved from the window sill to the bread bin and the light was shining on a photo of my daughter. Other weird things have happened too. I believe my birth mother has either died unhappy or in a tragic way and isnt at peace yet. Makes me feel so sad. And its sad that she died so young, but what hurts most is she died on my birthday. Feel like crying for her. Thank you all for listening to me. Means a lot. I dont feel like I can talk to my parents, I never really spoke about my birth mother growing up, it was just never really discussed and now it just feels awkward. Id rather talk to a stranger