Adoption Support Group

I am so sorry for the internal struggle you are going through. Regardless of what your father thinks, what do YOU want? You have to try really hard to not be too influences by others opinions. Both decisions are very difficult roads to take...it needs to be you making them. I am so sorry. This must be so difficult for you. Sending you good thoughts.

I know you are torn inside wanting to do what is right, I have seen both sides of adopion and keeping children.The best advise I can offer is to try and remove your feelings as much as possible and think only of what will be best for your child.Once we (mothers) become preg.our feelings, wants and needs become secondary.We have to think of the child first and put every thing we want to the side for what is best for the baby.If you choose to keep the baby are you willing to change your life completely to care for and nurture that child until they are 18 or older?Are you wiling to give up your dreams if they are no longer possible with the care this baby will need? If your answere to these questions are yes with no hestation you are ready to be a mom and the child could have no better mother than her birth mother.If the answere are no then that child would do better to be with someone who does put her first and where she is the most important thing in their life.
You will (if you decide on adoption) always wonder and think of your baby.He or she will always be with you in a special way but you will know what you did, you did for them. Just put them first in your thoughts and prayers.Our prayers are with you in the comming months.

i have to disagree about open adoption. you have to make sure you really want contact after and thats what the potential adoptive parents say. i was an open adoption so was my brother. i wouldn't have changed it in the world. if you have to give your baby away though make sure its what you need and want to do. there are support systems out there that will help you either way. i'm not here to judge just if you have any questions through and adopted person point of view then ask away i'm here. i was adopted 19 years ago and keep in contact with birth family through letters.

i think if people can't post nice things they should post at all. just because someone grew up abused doesn't mean everyone was it ticks me off that people assume one thing and its not always the case in others.

I don't know if my situation is relavant or not- and I think that some of the others have already given you great advice. I just want to tell you about my story.

My husband are about to adopt a little 9 year old girl. She's in foster care, and has had a rough life so far. We have never adopted (or had a baby the regular way before). I have health issues that will make things challenging. But, as a (hopefully soon) to be adoptive parent, I already know in my heart that I love this little girl with everything in me. I could not love this child any more if I had given birth to her. I have not yet even met her (we're in the early stage of being given photos and info about her) and yet I already would give my life for her.

I'm not sure how this is relavant to your situation, except I want you to know that if you do decide to go the adoption route, there are prospective adoptive families out there who will love your child with everything in them, and do everything they can to care for her and give her a good life. Not that every adoptive family is like this- but some are, and I'm one of them.

I have said a little prayer for you that God you will show you the right decision for you and your baby.

I've known that I was adopted my whole life. I have met my biological father, two of my half sisters, and recently made contact with my biological mother.

Growing up I did feel bitter and always asked "why?" but as I got older I realized that they really wanted the best for me. I just recently travelled across Europe and I don't think I would have had that opportunity if I hadn't have been put up for adoption.

The other day I texted my biological Mom telling her that I was watching an True Life: I'm putting my baby up for Adoption show on MTV. Those types of shows get me really emotional and I texted her saying "I love you and you did the right thing and I wouldn't be here without you. Thank you." She told me that I made her day and she has been waiting 21 years for me to say that.

I may have not grown up seeing my biological parents everyday but that doesn't mean that I don't think about them everyday and everytime I look in the mirror.

When you're adopted you're like a little detective trying to find out every little piece of information about yourself.

If you do decide to put your baby up for adoption, and you still want to be a part of their lives, ask if the adoptive parents if they could send you pictures and vise versa. For me, growing up I wanted to identify myself with my biological parents but I wouldn't be able to do so without any pictures or information about them.

I have known I was adopted my whole life. I had some struggles with it, but in all honesty I do not think it was any harder to accept that part of my life than any other child who comes to their own would go through. It was just different. I looked different because of my grandfather's ethnicity (I found out that I'm a quarter Mexican when I grew up in Northern Maine-- very pale folk! lol) but I was not treated different. My REAL mother and father are the parents that raised me, but I thank God every day for the people that gave me life and made the decision to place me in a home where I was loved and cared for.

Your decision is a difficult one. I think your heart should be sure because I know from talking with my Bmother that even then this decision will impact you. Hormones are designed to bond you and your baby-- when he or she is gone, it will be tough. But if you KNOW that your situation isn't one where you feel comfortable trying to raise a child, then maybe it would be right for you. You have so many options; have you considered possibly trying to let he or she go to foster care if times get too tough and you can't care for it? Perhaps that is another way to look- you can try to be a caregiver if you wanted to!

If you decide to adopt, just remember while your child may have a family somewhere else, you will always be his or her mother. You will ALWAYS have a place in their heart- even if they have trouble with accepting their situation sometimes. Most of us grow up to be well-adjusted and adapt, so even if being adopted can be upsetting or difficult to handle, we live and we are happy :)

Hi TXHuney-
I am making the assumption you are from tx? If so there is an amazing place there called the Edna Gladney Home that can give you amazing advice should you decide on adoption.
I am an adoptee who was born in TX and obviously had an experience with EGH.
All I can tell you is the decision should ultimately be yours. Don't let anyone influence you.
I was lucky to grow up in a wonderful home with wonderful adoptive parents, but I will tell you I have always been curious about my adoptive mother and father. I found both , but neither seem to want to have contact with me as of yet(it's only been a month).
I have had a few friends put kids up for adoption and have been there with them for the experience. If you have any questions feel free to message me.
Best of luck and love to you and your baby :)