Adoption Support Group

As a mom who was a teenaged pregnancy, I was forced to give up my child for adoption by my parents.I would not recommend it at all. Open adoption is a joke and does not work either. Try to get some support from family or friends or your church. don't let them lie and tell you you will get over it. You never do and it is a life of pain. If you are in school etc you can styill go on.
My daughter was abused and grew up in poverty. The dad left. I would have been a much better provider because I am now. Just don't get pregnant again.
Get an IUD and take the pill. You can do it, there has to be support out there. Try preganacy resource or other christian places to help you. DO NOT give you baby away.

Just know that you do have options. LittleAnt is right there is always a risk, but know that it doesn't always turn out that way. There are tons of people who would love to give your baby a good home. Talk to people do tons of research.

I want to weigh in here only because I may be able to offer another opinion.

The birthmother to my son decided at 7mos of pregnancy and almost in your exact situtation, that she would give her son up for adoption. She went to a crisis pregnancy center. Through a unique series of events, we were able to meet her. She decided that she wanted us to adopt her child and we had been waiting 10 years for a child to love.

I went w/ her to her prenatal appointments (she allowed this and asked me to go) and we were called on the day she had my son. We were there at the birth. It was the most amazing day of my life.

To this day, we are friends (the birthmom and us) - but it is at a comfortable distance. I post pictures for her and she reads updates on him often. My son is now 8 and 1/2 and he is adorable and I love him so much. I told him that God creates families in all different kinds of ways and that he was meant to be in ours. I love him more than life. I have a second son that I was able to give birth to and these two are brothers in every way!

Just yesterday, my son who was adopted, said to me, "could I ever love you more Mom?" It melted me to the core and of course I had to hug and kiss his face!

I don't know if you're a prayer but if you are, then pray for direction on this. I hope you make the right choice for yourself and your child's future. Best to you.

sry i have no wish to offend but an adoptive parent cant really give you the correct advice only the advice that they can give your child a loving home if you are lucky enough to find one of these parents
I was adopted ,i never knew till i was an adult and have been struggling with it ever since
i think adoption is unnnatural and many many people have been adopted into abusive families
i was lucky it is like a roulette wheel
one is lucky one is not
i value my adoptive parents more than i can say but meeting my real mum and the feelings that go with it are so profound
you only have one real mum
I cannot describe the need to have one's own mother in my life

First I want to ask- do you WANT the baby? If not, then obviously your child would be better off with someone else. But, if you do, then I suggest that you try everything you can to keep him/her! My mom was a single mom at the age of 21, when she had me. My birth father was not in the picture at all- he left her before she even found out she was pregnant. I am now 28 with two children of my own and very happily married. I too, though, had my first child out of wedlock at the age of 18. We weren't together at that time, but he was a dedicated Daddy... and lo and behold- we married when our son was 3 1/2 yrs old (and I'm so glad we did!).
My mom and I were and still are- very close, but money was always scarce. We lived with relatives here and there when I was young, and we went through some hard times together- but I wouldn't trade my Mom for any "parents" in the world. We made do- and survived! I was loved, and that's most important.
So anyway, I just wanted to tell you that if you love this baby, and you desire to keep it- do it! Having all the latest things is the least important. I went without many things that other children had, but I had a Mom who loved me with all her heart and that's what matters. She had to scrape together her change sometimes to buy milk, but God provided enough for the basics that we needed. So I encourage you; find help. Go on unemployment if need be, until you can find a job to provide for you and baby. Seek help from friends, family, church- someone you can trust, and make it work! Your child might not have an earthly daddy, but there's a heavenly Father who will adopt your child if He's asked to. Prayer is powerful. Be strong....you can do it!

I am 45. I was adopteda at 6 months. I have been told that my mother was 16,and that she was single and could not provide for me. I was adopted by the most wonderful and loving parents in the world. I thank god that I was given the opportunity that i was, and that my mother was so unselfish to make sure that I was given the best home. I only regret not knowing here and any siblings. I regret not being able to locate her, as i would like nothing more than to be able to meet her and to thank her for making the tough decision that she made. Good Luck and pray. The Lord will lead you in the right direction. Good Luck.

Stormchaser - thank you for sharing this. It blessed me. Someday I hope my son feels this same way about us (his parents)- although he will get to meet his b-mom someday if he wants to as we are always in contact to some degree. We agreed to that during the process and I would never deny him the chance to know her if he wishes. My guess is that as he matures he will be curious where he has certain traits from... he will probably also want to hear why she gave him up. I think that is a natural question. She was 28, single, father not involved and not enough income to support him and her daugther. I'm so thankful everyday for her choice. He is my gift and he knows this. My biological son is my other gift - just two different ways. Again, thanks for sharing this. I hope TXhuney finds peace with her decision - whatever it is.

As an adoptee and firstmom, I can only say for me it was the worst thing to place my son for adoption. My bmom drank way to much, maybe she wouldn't have if she kept me...we will never know. Her life was a very hard lived life. I met her 9 years ago and some very bad things happened to her family. I on the other hand made the worst choice of my life. I have reunited with my son, but the adoption has affected him very hard. I will never get over my pain from missing 18 years of his life and he is so angre with everyone, me, and aparents. You never get over the pain of lossing a child, and the adoption builds so much pain/fear/lact of self for the adoptee...Adoption is a permenent sulution for a temp. problem...ie lack of money, support...

I am so sad today because it is so hard connecting with my birth family
you have no idea how dificult it is and how they see me as not part of the family
not enough to bother with me and it really really hurts
they make no effort or do not reply to my emails
I don't know what to do anymore except to give up
i wish i had never known sometimes
this is what adoption does
it takes you away from your bio family and it is almost impossible to form relationships now
I wish it was diferent but it isn't
trying to keep a relationship with bm is also hard but is happening
do you want your child growing up with this
feeling rejected

Hi there, I would like to share my experiences with you. You need to feel at peace with whatever decision you make, God bless you as I know this is probably the hardest decision you'll ever have to make.

I am 42 years old. when I was 7 my brother and I went into Foster care and I was adopted at age 9. My birthparents are both still alive and both really messed up. My adoptive father was my hero and the best dad anyone could hope for. My adoptive mother never really liked me. To this day I believe she didn't want me, but my dad wanted a bigger family and my older sister (adopted as an infant) wanted a sibling. I didn't get any help for clinical depression during my teens which may have made things easier, but I think i would have been much more messed up if I had been raised by either of my birth parents.

When I was 20 I became pregnant. For the first time in my life I felt my (adoptive) father let me down. I thought I could always go home until then. My parents told me to get an abortion. (My sister had an abortion when she was 19 so my parents had already been through that). I wanted this baby more than anything. I had always dreamed of being a mom and having children. the only thing wrong was the father had no interest in being a dad. then I lost my job due to excessive morning sickness. Then I lost my housing because I was doing housework in exchange for rent and the guy was a creep who kicked me out when he found out I was pregnant.

I was 4 months pregnant, jobless and homeless. I managed to find a room where I could stay until the baby was born and got on welfare. This was not the life I had dreamed of for my precious baby. I was terrified that I would be dragging an innocent child down by not having my life together. I did not know of any resources to help me (although I know better now). A neighbor I trusted brought up the idea of adoption and I was very angry. How dare they suggest such a thing, this was MY baby. I loved and wanted this baby more than anything in my life. As time wore on I started thinking more about the life I wanted for my baby.

After about a month I asked this neighbor about the couple she had told me she knew who were looking to adopt. She got me their "dear birthmother" letter and I knew in my heart these should be the parents for my baby. I contacted them and we met and talked. I invited the mom Nancy to be my birth coach. While I felt I was giving them the best gift in the world, they were also giving me the gift of peace. I also went to crisis pregnancy center at their request to get counseling- they wanted to be sure I knew what I was doing.

When the baby was born I was so happy and sad at the same time. I stayed in the hospital 2 days and held my baby girl as much as possible. On the day I was discharged I did not stop crying. I went through a bad depression for about a month. I wrote the birthparents a letter because I wanted them to know how much pain I was in. I got a tearful letter back from Nancy that she was sorry I was in so much pain, and she was so blessed. when my daughter was 6 months old I was invited to her house for lunch. I was so happy to see how she was doing. About a year later Nancy and Bill moved out of state. We exchange letters about once a year and Nancy sends me pictures and the most wonderful letters detailing my baby's progress, her personality and all sorts of great info.

My daughter turns 21 herself this year. She is on a full 4 year scholarship to a state University, is in the honors program and maintains an A average. She is on the tennis team and the cross country running team. She has a boyfriend. I would LOVE to meet her but I have not tried to contact her directly. The first few years were SO hard, but I have known all along that she is happy, she has good parents who only want the best for her, and that she knows she is loved. I don't know if they gave her the letters I wrote to her while I was pregnant. But I do know that I made the rifght choice for her.

My greatest fear was that if I gave up my baby I wouldn't be able to have any others. Unfortunately that came true. My partner and I started trying to get pregnant when I was 35 and were not successful.

This year my spouse and I adopted 2 sisters, age 9 and 10. We have had custody of them since they were 6 and 7 but the adoption process took forever. I know that my daughters are safer with me than they were with their birth parents. I want them to know how much they are loved. they are a challenge as they came to us with a history of abuse and neglect so we have had to work hard to overcome these issues, but the best feeling is to see them smile when they are truly happy.

I know this is long but it is all true and from my heart. There have been times where I realized I could have made it had I chosen to keep my daughter. But now as a mom of 2 I am so glad I am not doing it alone- there are times I just need a break and my spouse can take over for a while. I will pray that you decide what is best for you and your child and that you have peace with your decision.

Best wishes to you,

- Wendy