What is Adoption
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Adoption results in the severing of the parental responsibilities an...
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hi, im just wondering whether anyone else has experienced the same; i met my biological father about 6 years ago. he lives in another country though so we dont get to see each other very often. at the start it was exciting getting to know him and we talked openly about our lives etc but after that initial excitement i feel like im holding back for some reason and i never know what to say to him anymore. has anyone experienced anything similiar?
Posted on 05/01/09, 05:05 pm |
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You are not alone, I met my bmom and bdad about 9 years ago. My bmom helped me find my bdad. I understand all that "need" to know everything feelings and to feel so excited at first. I was the one who pulled back from my bmom, after getting to know her, we just are 2 very different people. We kept in touch with phone calls but when she was very sick I did go out to see her. I was at a loss of words being around her and all of her family. My bdad and I did meet once but then no contact since then. There is just so many emotions to deal with; not wanting to say the wrong thing; not wanting to hurt someone...it's all so hard. 
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Yeah, I had the honeymoon period, it was amazing with her. Then we drifted and then she kind of just stopped talking to me altogether. After a few months she didn't want to talk anymore. We share an email occasionally but she doesn't want to visit any more but says I could keep in contact with my brothers... who knows what they think of me after almost four years now! The youngest was 8 and now 13.
The BF... well, he's always had problems. His stories during visits were inconsistent on a regular basis. He still has drinking and drug problems. And I brought my best friend to meet with him the last time and he was drunk and hit on her. I told him unless he cleans up I can't handle that type of behavior and won't be in touch. His family, unfortunately, has done the same... I didn't want to have to but it's not good for me to take on a burden like that. I finally got some facts from his sister and try to keep in touch but aside from drunken phone calls from him have heard nothing from the rest. It was nice in the beginning, but you can see how it is now. I think I just need to allow myself to feel some closure on this. I feel abandoned (again) by her, I feel betrayed (the lies, the drinking before and during our visit, etc) from by him. I'm an adult now, married and finishing college but it still hurts. Not sure where to go from here but I have to remember to stick to my guns and make good decisions instead of doing what I think would make them happy. Sorry this is long. I haven't actually written this out like this before. It's good to see it though. Feels weird, but good.
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