I worked in medicine too. I was an oncology nurse for most of my nsg career. Worked in nursing homes and with an agency, because they pd so much more. Pushing a med cart on carpet isn't easy 16 hr days. Esp like the last place, they weighed 70 lbs.Assisting with lifting people for over 20 yrs, sometimes rolling them over myself and trying to hold them as I did treatments. Bending over them,doing the med
books,with my neck bending always. So many things.Now I've got the horrible lump at the back of my neck. And the back pain is unreal. The last nsg home I was at, I worked 16 hr shifts on weekends thinking I wouldn't have to travel the 2 hrs each way everyday with this agency. It was really taking it's toll. and all I did for the remainder of the week was lay and
sleep .Actually fell asleep 1 time coming home.Hit the rumble strips and scared the crap out of me. I'd never done that before. Actually fought to stay awake sometimes. with windows down, radio, all that. But it was so hard. And oh dear Lord, the pains in my back and neck when driving home I could hardly stand it. Just holding my arms on the wheel. I'd try to switch back and forth. just so many things. But did it all out of necessity also. Had just divorced my ex ,he'd been hurt in an accident in DC. I was working private duty then, at 2 places, then got a call to do a third. A young fellow with cancer who wanted to die at home. He passed abt 3 weeks after he got home. So many stresses were there also.Then discovered while I was dragging myself to work all thses places, he started on drugs with his " friends " He'd been more abusive than usual, so I knew why.
So I really needed a job where I could make money, cause he wiped out the accts while I was being treated the next day for some injuries and an awful migraine.
But then I had a resident break the bones in my wrist, and destroyed the bone at the base of my thumb.Some others also. That was a mess, and also after 3 surgeries ended my nursing. I did do in home when possible, but my health got worse constantly. Was the AD or
AI whatever. Finally the glands gave out. I'd been treated with antidepressants. Just because I said I wasn't able to do anything. Was weepy and exhausted all the time. So of course that was the diag. But, after the diag of AD or possibly just the
AI, whichever they now decide, ( thinking it might be from all the steroids used over the yrs for the breathing) I was worthless. Not treated right for several yrs, and my heath declined. Had CFS, Fibro, and Arthralgas. I'd been in the hospital many times with dehydration, flu, exhaustion, and fevers. The back pain was a constant, and still is. Neck kills me even sitting with a book, or trying to write on here. I need it injected, which had really helped. The back.. needs a surgeon they say. I should be calling for an appt, but have much to do here.
Had gotten some what of a settlement, and was talked into moving in with my son and family, thinking it would help them and I both. But was told to
leave by my D-inlaw because I'd said I needed some money from them to help out.I pd everything and got them caught up.Many things, but I was to keep track. The bank was going to foreclose. Had been so sick ,and I was told to get out after a Dr appt and had pneumonia. Hosp was full, and an option was a bed in the hallway till a room was available. So went home with breathing treatments and pills. In an empty apt with no utilities,had
heat, the furnace was in my side so had to be on. I'd given everything pretty much away. That really threw me in a depression, cause hadn't been feeling well at all. had nothing left, and actually at one point in a brief flash, was going to end it all. driving down the highway I thought I could just turn the wheel and get in the path of a tractor and trailer. At the last moment, I swerved back and ended in the medial. I thought I could really injure someone else, or kill them. It's just like someone else took over my mind. I went to the hosp and admitted myself. I was afraid I might actually do something. Out of no where I'd just get a fleeting thought,, it's so hard to explain.
I will say after starting the cortef when I'd go to see my therapist, she wrote full remission. I'm still on the meds, but the depression lifted. I needed those hormones to function, and they worked. No more depression. had suffered for yrs with it, when most if not all was because I didn't have what I needed to cope.
I'd go with th ex to cut wood for our outside wood furnace and lug those logs. When he was away I had to tend that furnace every 12 hrs. The wood was huge and weighed a ton, so it wouldn't burn right up. It needed lifted high to get it in the door. All this stuff and so much more. I was always strong and always did things I imagine led to this with my back. Part of it anyway. And as you said, the standing, although I was on the move also all the time . Helping when someone rang or a cna called. In nsg homes I'd try to get my meds out and then bath and dress a resident or 2 to help the girls, we were always short staffed. So I know what you mean abt tension not helping. but befor eht e diag I had an awful time at the sink doing dishes. Had to stop and sit, my back was relentless. But different pains than now with the disks.
Probably the message is way too long. So you probably won't get it. Happens on here, esp for a motor mouth like me. Sitting here trying to get moving. Took AM meds late, couldn't
sleep and got up at 10.I hate my life. I wanted to find a job, but keep having setbacks with ilnesses. Maybe an atidepressant wouldn't be a bad thing. Some they say helps with the back and muscle pain. Not so sure. I feel for you with your young kids. I struggeled through with mine. Good Luck! Sorry for the post!
