What is Acute Myelogenous Leukemia AML
Acute myelogenous leukemia (AML), also known as acute myeloid leukemia, is a cancer of the myeloid line of blood cells. The median age of patients with AML is 70; it is rare among ...
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Flashbacks
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I was diagnosed wih AML when I was only four years old. Now I am 21. I have alot of health problems and things are extremely hard to deal with but above all it is the flashbacks.
I am scared to death of movies like ET. I remember these guys, about seven of them, coming to the hospital. The doctors still did not know what was wrong with me, so they had called the CDC. These guys were dressed just like the guys in white on ET. I remember being so scared and crying for my parents. Please let them come in. They told me they would let them in if I calmed down and let them do the spinal tap test that they needed to do. I agreed but when my parents entered the room I freaked out and begged them to help me. The men kicked my parents back out. It took four of them to hold me down to do the test. I am 15 years in remission and I just cannot forget this event. I am not on any anti-rejection drugs. I know that I am lucky and living proof that GOD does do miricals. I was only four years old. If I have to watch a movie or walk by while someone is watching a movie where poeple are wearing those suits I totaly freak out. Suddenly I cannot move or breath. I have a full blown panic attack. Despite my best efforts I just cannot seem to overcome it. It has only happene for about the past 2 years. I sometimes have nightmares about it and I wake up crying, extremely upset, sweating, scared and shaking. Does anyone have an Idea of what I could do to deal with these memories Posted on 08/15/07, 07:08 pm |
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I would suggest speaking to a counselor of some sort about this- The only things I could say to help, would be internal events for yourself including exploring the event inside yourself, finding acceptance, and the process of moving forward from there~
I have suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ever since I was raped- and I know very well what you mean about memories causing those reactions. It has been 3 years and I still have problems in certain situations- but as a whole the memories come, but I do not have the severe reactions like I used to~ Best Wishes Friend! 
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I would suggest having someone you trust completely go with you to a reputed hypnotherapist (make sure they have a clinical background and check references). I would explain what you are experiencing and what you would like to do with those experiences. Even though you were little your brain was functioning and your memory is in there, so I would see if you could use hypnotherapy to bring all those memories to your adult mind and come to some closure or peace with them. Those were frightening things to endure as a small child and no one could have truly made any of it okay, but I think if you allow those memories out, the adult you are now can help the child you were file those memories into healthier areas of your brain, than areas of fear. I hope this helps.
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