ADHD / ADD Support Group

I know what you are going through. Thank goodness you found a helpful teacher. That's what happened with us when my son was in 3rd grade. he's now a senior in HS. It's been a hard journey. but age and maturity help so much. One of my regrets is that i didn't leave him back. he needed it because he was immature, but we got through it.
As far as meds, we kept trying until we found one that worked. He had side effects from some. Meds has to something that you are comfortable with. - Discuss it with your Doctor.
Good luck to you. I'm here if you have questions or just need to vent. (((hugs)))

EVERYTHING WILL BE OK! I have AD/HD of the combined type (meaning I have both ADD and ADHD) and you know what, I came out ok. I have an AA, BA and a JD degree. I am preparing for the California Bar Exam, am married and have 2 beautiful boys and I came out all right.

I am 30 years old and I am just now embracing it, but I have worked with children with autism, ADD, ADHD and down syndrome in the school systems because I have a passion for kids with disabilities as well as those who come from a economically disadvantaged background.

There are programs and people who are out there who want to be of assistance to children like your child. I know, because I am one of those people and i have mentored and seen quite a few people be successful, I have even attended a couple of college graduations.

Honestly, I did not take medications growing up b/c of the fear my parents had in it, plus they had their own feelings about the diagnoses to say the least. However, I am now taking Adderall. I just started, but so far it seems great. I am taking a dosage of 30mg a day (which equates to only 1 pill per day, I take it in the morning) and research suggest that it is more effective than Ritalin for some people.

In fact, a lot of ADHD patients who took forms of Ritalin or other treatments were switched to Adderall and it worked miracles. You need to discuss medication with your child's physician of course because everyone's body is different AND every medicine, no matter the type have risk associated with it.

However, I do know at least with Adderall that it truly helps people to focus so much so that college kids (who do NOT have ADHD) on prominent campuses across the country have taken it illegally (like a street drug) and become addicted because it truly makes a difference with ones grades and academic performance.

I was afraid to take medications because I thought it would change my personality or cause me to be slow or something. There are so many rumors associated with the risks that it is scary. However, if your child is prescribed the right dosage of whatever form of medication AND if the child is thoroughly looked at (like taking whatever precautions, such as an EKG, etc. to make sure the child's body is ready to take whatever medication is placed upon them) there should not be a problem.

I am trying it for 30 days to see how I feel about it. If it is as successful as it is known to be with other ADHD patients, I will stay on it at least until completion of my bar exam. So far, everything is cool. ITrust me, as a mother I understand NOT wanting to allow anything to be given to your kids especially considering risk that are involved in any type of medications because your children are your world. I know that, because my 2 boys mean more then life to me, but just do the research, pray about it and go with what you feel is best based upon your child's immune system, symptoms, and conditions. You may find that medication is not necessary or that it is something you can not do without. I think joining the support group was a wonderful decision on your part, but don't be discouraged, you are doing the right thing.

I am married to a medical professional so he was big on the research and knowledge before even suggesting it to me. HE has a DEA license and prescribes medication frequently to his patients, but he is NOT a medicine guy, meaning he would rather not medicate unless necessary (for pain, infection, etc).

Research Adderall and talk to your child's doctor, it may help. Also, in regards to the school and their support, some schools are great and others are not so much so. I have worked with schools that fall under both categories. However, in spite of how supportive they may or may not be, most schools are more willing to be helpful if you as a parent show involvement and care. My mother in law is a principle of an elementary school and she has been in the education field as a teacher of various grade levels (up through the university level) for over 35 years. Her take on it is that she is more than willing to assist parents with their children and their needs, whatever they may be, but the parent must make efforts because it is not just a battle for the parent, but even more so for the child.

You all are going through this together and if you are on top of your kids school, even if they normally don't help or support, they will have no choice but to be on board (trust me, if not, law suits can happen as ADHD is a disability protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act--people have not gotten the best results ONLY because they do not realize the rights and protections they have).

I know I said a lot, I hope it helps. Remember, your child is not the 1st or the last and there are plenty of people like myself, who understand what your child is going through and can assist you in helping your child be successful educationally. God bless you in your endeavors and hang in there, everything will be all right!

Thank you both for the encouraging words, I will try and remember them throughout my journey I know with support and advice I will be better prepared for my son and hopefully get him the best help. God bless you both and I may have more questions in the near future, Thanks again!!

I am right there with you! MY son is 10, but we are going through all of this as well, and are fairly new to it My son is also visually impaired and has has to take a daily growth hormone injection since he was 3. It has been quite the adventure, and now I am taking this new one on! It is scary because I don't want to make a decision for him that isn't going to help. I don't want to waste too much time finding the right answers because I feel like every day that goes by without a solution he gets older and is missing out! I home school, so it is imperative for both of us to figure out what works if we are to get along and have more good days than bad. It's so overwhelming, but I also know from everything else that we have gone through is that if not me than who? I am the best one to be an advocate and an expert and it gets me excited about my role when I look at it like that. So far we have just been trying natural cures because the meds intimidate me too. I am fully prepared to try them if we don't find something natural that works though. So maybe together we can figure out what is right for our boys! Cheers to learning!

From reading some of these posts, I often get a feeling like it’s not really ADD because there are family problems or other external variables that are impacting the child’s ability to do well in school, or perhaps there are even some motivational issues. This, however sounds like it might be a genuine ADD problem. There’s really nothing to be afraid of. ADD can be handled fairly easily if you’re doing the right things, and chances are high that he’ll grow out of it anyway, or just learn to deal with it, which is why you should be prepared to do some behavioral therapies instead of just popping pills in his mouth. but pills aren’t very bad for you unless they’re taken for a long period of time. What you should do is get him on the pills AND start behavioral therapy. Little by little, decrease the amount of meds you give him in addition to the therapy and pretty soon he’ll be able to control himself without meds :) it sounds like you’re a really great, smart Mom, so I have a good feeling he’ll pull through.

I’d watch out for that doctor- they can be bad. If the doctor is really forward about putting your son on pills, I’d be skeptical, and look for another one. Doctors who do nothing but put kids on pills aren’t well-trained and it could do more harm than good to your son. If you do find a good doctor and you do feel that pills are the best option, don’t worry about your kid’s health- they’re really pretty harmless unless you keep him on them for years. The minute you see side effects, though, I’d take him off. Also, make sure HE WANTS to take the pills. I’m really against the parents that cram them down their kid’s throats or try to trick them into taking it by puttin’ it between two pieces of bread or whatever.

Well, that’s my 2 cents. Hope everything goes well :)

here's my additional 2 cents.
you don't realize the pills are working until the day they don't take them.

Oh yeah- reflecting on what MsViv said.... you'll notice some MAJOR rebound if the pills aren't taken one day :)

I can fully appreciate the situation you are in. We are addressing the same concerns, talking with the school, drs, meds,testing. I am the advocate for my child and am having to embrace that fully in ways that I did not anticipate in this journey. You kind of have to wrap your mind around treating this like a business situation.. I am still working on this part. It is very emotional..repeat...very emotional when it comes to your children. I have done everything I could myself and it is not enough and that is heartbreaking. I have had to go to others and seek input. Things like this are so delicate it seems. I have tried to think of it in the same way you would have to treat common illnesses and what would you do to address that...sometimes this feels like taboo to talk about with others and I appreciate this support group. I have really needed it. I know what you mean..waiting on testing and its 2 weeks away...you are worried about the "here and now..what do we do about TODAY"...I have cried,prayed, talked with others, have the wheels turning to what is hopefully the next right step, be my son's biggest cheerleader, worked on my patience with the timing of all this. We have set up testing, tutoring, drs appts, meetings with the the school, he has an IEP, work on skills at home. My son is not hyper.. the teachers are complimentary of his behavior, he works hard ,and is an eager/willing child...FOR ALL OF THAT I AM DEEPLY GRATEFUL. I know other parents/children struggle with much more. I was hesitant about meds and I am aware of the side effects etc...I have to know that all meds have side effects and if you are vigilant about observing him and are aware you can always take him off..it is not set in concrete. I also know that anything you decide to do through the school to help him now is just about the NOW..it can be undone when some issues resolve. My son,too, is not on grade level with comprehension..he is in regular classes and gets EIP ( extra help). I now have him taking his tests in a VERY small group that only has o 1-2 other kids...we are going to see if this could be helpful. I believe he feels anxious because all the other kids are finishing before him. We will see. With the school...you must stay on top of them. In your meeting have all of the teachers, the principal, ask the teacher you originally met with who else could come to the meeting that could be of assistance. I will say that maybe you should meet after you get the test results that way you actually have something to put on the table and say "now how can we address this". I assume you were going to do that but just thought I would mention it. Maybe you could have the school psychologist observe him in class and see if they have any immediate suggestion in the classroom. In my situation, nobody seems to know what else to do until the testing gets done. However when I ask the psychologist what can be put in place until all that gets done he just says that you can google and there are basically cookie cutter interventions and then he says that everything is based on the individual child....so what in the world will I do when the test comes back! So just stay on top of your research..pass along anything you might find. I am also working to try and keep all the beautiful parts of my child intact...confidence, self esteem, willingness, love of learning..etc.
That is a huge concern and is ALWAYS on my mind. I know he will get through this an move on to be a productive, contributing member of society. I am trying to help him be a nice young man and gentleman. I want him to always be confident in himself and his ability to be successful in all of his endeavors.
I will pray for you and your son..I KNOW he wants to do well as much as you want him to. TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD..THERE ARE NEW DAYS AHEAD.

Hi, Jeann!
I'm a former teacher who worked extensively with ADHD kids. I did my Master's thesis on strategies teachers and parents can use to help these kids succeed in school. The most important thing is to find a teacher who understands the challenges your son faces and is willing to work with you. There are things you can do, in partnership with your child's teacher, to help him. For behavioral issues, you could ask the teacher to do a daily behavioral check (something as simple as a smiley or frowny face) to let you know how things went in class. You can then set up a reward system at home to reinforce the good behavior. Ask that he be seated in an area of the classroom where distractions are minimized (at the front of the room, or away from windows). I used to give my ADHD students little jobs to do when I noticed they were getting antsy(like closing the classroom door or helping me distribute papers)so they'd have them a chance to get up and walk around. Ask your son's teacher to give him a "secret signal" (like a tap on his desk or shoulder) to let him know when his attention starts wandering. Purchase a large clip that your son can use to clip all his homework assignments together in one place so he can find them when he needs to hand them in. Organize subjects into differently colored folders to help him organize his work. Divide larger tasks into smaller, more manageable parts and have your son take a short break after finishing each part. When working on homework assignments, have your son complete the most difficult parts first.
I've compiled some of these strategies into a book entitled Project June Bug. It tells the story of a teacher working with an ADHD student. If you're interested, you can find out more about it if you go to my website: www.jackieminniti.com. You'll also find some helpful links to ADHD sites.
The important thing to remember is that ADHD isn't a learning disability; it's a learning difference. These kids just have different needs when it comes to instruction, and the traditional classroom is probably the most difficult place for them to learn. But with a cooperative teacher and an involved parent, these students can succeed. I loved working with my little "June Bugs" because they were usually bright and creative, and were able to think outside the box. These are all traits that will work to their advantage when they're out in the real world.
Good luck, and please feel free to contact me if there's any way I can help.

Just an update since we have been to see the doctor, The pediatrician came to the conclusion she sees alot of inattention in him and we were to take home forms to fill out on his behavior etc. well everything just seems like wait then wait some more, I hope to hear back from her this week, she did talk to us about medication and she thinks unless we put him on something we will not see a change, So I guess we will have to try and see if it helps, she did say if anything starts to change in his personality we would change the meds, So I guess i have a little more hope now than I did before we seen the doctor, but I'm still scared of the different reactions he may have to the meds. Thank you all for your support and advice, Please keep it coming, I'm still in distress over this and very much need support and friends that are going through the same things. I'll update again soon. :)