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Discussion:
ADD husband can't keep a job!
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I was wondering if anyone else has this problem, and what can be done about it. My husband can't keep a job for more than 6 months (usually it's less than 2) because of things he says or does that are because of his ADD (impulsively, short-temper, moodiness, immaturity, etc.). He either gets fired for doing something stupid, or quits suddenly without considering the consequences.

How can I get my husband to understand how important it is that he behave well enough to keep a job??? He is the breadwinner; I stay home with our 3 children (and we are expecting a 4th in Feb.), so me working is not an option right now.
Posted on 12/21/07, 02:06 pm
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Reply #1 - 12/21/07  2:13pm
" Using ADD as an excuse is a bad idea... that makes it WORSE "
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Reply #2 - 12/21/07  2:25pm
" I am most certainly NOT excusing the behavior, just explaining it. He doesn't get off THAT easily! "
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Reply #3 - 12/21/07  2:43pm
" you said he says its because of his ADD... how is that not using ADD as an excuse? "
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Reply #4 - 12/21/07  2:54pm
" IT IS A CAUSE, NOT AN EXCUSE. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. LOOK IT UP. "
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Reply #5 - 12/21/07  5:03pm
" He can control it, regardless "
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Reply #6 - 12/21/07  9:27pm
" I have been there myself and I feel for your husband. There are some things that have help me personaly:
1. Self education about my condition. Lots of reading and sharing with the partner or spouse about the new findings.
2. Facing my reality and moving forward towards change, this is like glancing at one's future with optimism.
3. Counseling and Medical doctor when the "natural way" does not work. I seeked medical help after I read books about my condition and based on what
I learned about myself, I help my doctors and counselor to find the right help for me.
4. Support of family, friends church, etc. Your husband is very lucky he has your support; that is something I dont get from my wife.
5. Excersice and great sex. That reduces the stresses of life and makes us open to change.
6. Use ADDvantages to gain a living. Have his make an acessment of his abilities and find a job that goes with that. There are even jobs where the ADD weaknesses are strengths.
I hope this can help.

The ITadmin

A good counselor. "
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Reply #7 - 12/23/07  1:13am
" i CAN RELATE RIGHT NOW i M NOT TAKING PILL FOR ADHD AND I CANT KEEP A JOB I COPLAIN ALL THE TIME I WILL ADMIT IT MY BOYFRIEND MAKES ME GO TO WORK I CANT FOCUS AT ALL I KNOW I NEED PILLS BAD ASAP, I DONT THINK THAT GIRL UNDERSTANDS THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE IT WORSE THEN OTHERS I HAVE IT PRETTY BAD. I'LL ADMIT I CANT KEEP A JOB. "
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Reply #8 - 12/23/07  7:17am
" Well, I was on academic probation last semester... I've been failing out of school basically my whole life. I don't really feel bad for myself. i used to blame it on ADD because doctors would tell me that's what it was. that's what everyone told me. now i know i can control my behavior... ADD might as well be a bogus diagnosis. I'm doing much better in school, finally, at the age of 21 "
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Reply #9 - 12/23/07  8:38am
" Is he medicated for his ADHD? would he? This would probably help him with his daily life. "
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Reply #10 - 12/23/07  9:40am
" He has an RX for Ritalin from the VA, but they only prescribe generics, so he can't get the XR kind... he's always missing his noon dose, even though he sets an alarm for it. It's so frustrating. It helps him focus, but doesn't seem to do much else good. "

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