ADHD / ADD Support Group

Hello, I am new to this board, although not new to dailystrength which has been of enormous help to me in the recent past.

My son who is 8 has been suffering from the following symptoms: hyperactivity, lack of concentration, over-sensitivity, aggressivity to himself, (he hits himself over the head when he can't take it any longer), obstinance and at times insolence.

I noticed he was different from 18 months/2years old but my husband (which whom I am now separated), said that he was a normal 'active' boy. Over the years things have changed, got worse in some ways and better in others. We have a young son of 19 months and a second son who died when our oldest was 5. We have had a very, very hard time, (our parents also died shortly before the birth of our eldest). Yet, we try to stay on track with our oldest especially since he has been having therapy recently with a therapist who recognising that he may indeed have attention deficit. Recently we read some medical articles about ADHD and my husband had a sort of bad epiphany, seeing himself as a child in all of the information we read. This has been of great help to me and our son because at last his father is recognising the problem. In his words, he didn't see it before because it IS him.

We live in France. This is not at all the same attitude as in the States, in fact, quite the opposite and while we have a very good health care system, the 'label' of ADHD (called Trouble du Déficit de l'Attention TDA in French) is rarely applied. Medication is hardly prescribed with the focus being on intense therapy, treating behavior above all and language/communication. In October our son will also be starting sessions with a scolastic psychologist. He will be going into the equivalent of 4th grade and in France we are about 2 years ahead of the States with enormous intellectual pressure, (he already knows about the beginning of French history up to Charlemagne for example), and I believe this type of system does not bode well for children who are struggling psychologically/mentally. He still retains everything but does not like to write and obstinately refuses to do things he does not want to do.

In our house I am fairly regimental and he manages to cope when directed in the right direction, but as soon as emotions rise he is a nightmare and can become very depressed which makes me feel terribly anxious. His intelligence makes it that he can play the most twisted verbally-speaking, polarising negative/positive ideas. I find myself falling into the trap faily easy easy until I realise that he's tricking me! Proof that if he is indeed ADHD, these children are incredibly clever. On the positive side, he does music, horse-riding and Judo and these activities seem to make him live in a way that he can't do simply in the home, in fact at home we all have to put our own lives aside for him, which is very tiring and frustrating. He is also altar boy at the Russian Orthodox church, the only time I see a completely different boy. Calm and very obediant - I know that these children need a ritual to keep them on track so I assume this is why he is better concentrated.

I am looking forward to reading all the subjects. I need to inform myself as much as possible and although medical sites help they only go a certain distance. I hope my own story helps too.

All the very best and thankyou for reading my story.
Posted on 07/17/12, 05:08 am