ADHD / ADD Support Group

My husband's adhd causes burst of anger as well. He's never been able to control it. I swear its like he looks for reasons to be angry and no matter how much I tell him that I'm not cut out for the constant stress of his tantrums, it doesn't help. You have to decide what you can tolerate.

I used to be like that as well, and through dietary changes, figuring out that gluten was a huge factor in the anger and eliminating it, it has helped me tremendously. Also the synpatol I take with my son helps take that edge off me--I stay more subdued and things don't bother me as easily.

I always recommend people to check to see what foods they are intolerant to and start there, it's amazing how food can really effect your behavior, without having anyother symptoms. So be sure to watch how he reacts after he's eaten something. We found Gluten was one of the big triggers for my son's ODD behavior as well.

I can't say if this is best for you but I can share what I have done. It does appear to be working. My boyfriend has add. He use to have tantrums. We were having alot of problems cause of it in our first 4 years. He decided to find a really good psych center that could help him. He is now having therapy again & meds. We have a bunch of books that we read together a couple times a week. We have a special psychologist that gives us couples therapy because of his add. Now we don't have all kinds of money this is all public or low cost resources we searched out. I did have the conversation with him about respecting myself, my well being & the need for peace in my life not chaos. As I age, I let him know that if things didnt improve that I would have to end our relationship romantically. I let him know that I couldnt afford to allow myself to get stressed. or constantly upset because of his issue. I know that its not their fault but what is their fault is not seeking a way to work with it. They have to work harder at a relationship if they want to keep it. That means seeking support. We cannot fix this issue for them. We have to find ways through knowledge to work with it. They themselves have alot of work to do. My boyfriend also took anger management sessions many times over. Now, the tantrums have become almost unnoticeable. He is doing a great job with applying the coping skills they have taught him. I also use the methods they have taught me.

My husband extreme anger when his ADHD is bad. Some days are better then others. Some times even if you know your right the best thing to do is walk away and calm down. When he is calm its easier for us to talk. There has been times where he will grab me and bruises me. He does not do it to be abusive its something in his brain. Just do the best you can for him and things will get better. Also sometimes when my husband has trouble sleeping things will get worse. Try melatonin if your BF has issues sleeping it works well for ADHD and helps with anger because they got the good rest. Good luck and stay strong. Love can leap mountains.

Thank you all for your advice!

people with ADD have poor impulse control - that doesn't excuse unacceptable behaviour though. My son and I are both ADD. I've told him if he screams at me over the phone again I'm going to put it down and not take his calls for a few days. He stopped screaming over the phone so now instead he tells me in a civil voice what his problem is. I've had to learn not to react instantly as well. it's hard, but it can be done - at least to some extent.

I have ADD and i have noticed then when my Adderall wears off i feel more moody, and stressed, as well as just knowing that the meds have worn off makes me miserable. i tend to be groucier with my partner and even though i get annoyed at her very easily, i have identified that this is why.. and though i still am short with her i tell her how im feeling.. "that i just am not doing well, and im grouchy but that i'm trying really hard to not be but that its hard and not her fault" even though she really cant understand how im feeling, at least i've told her.. and i may still hurt her feelings a bit or upset her.. she knows im trying. I think that as adults with ADD, who KNOW they are ADD, need to take some responsiblity. I know its not okay to treat someone horribly, so i let them know why i may be avoiding them or need space until i feel better.. not doing this can ruin relationships who dont have ADD.

It is not okay for someone to verbally or physically abuse their partners, especially when there are so many other options out there.

the partner who doesnt have ADD shouldn't be put in that position.

Sounds like my boyfriend, he has severe ADHD and is the same way. I told him I don't like the way he gets when his temper flares up, but I know it's his ADHD. Part of it is him getting mad at himself cuz he doesn't like feeling that way and still has a hard time dealing with it. Other than that he's one of the most giving and caring guys I've ever met. I'm understanding towards his moodiness, but I always tell him I'm not gonna sit here and let him think that's okay. Whenever he gets angry I just let him ramble it out and listen, because that's about all I can do. If I'm not with him and he gets upset, I'll make it clear I'm not going to see him until he calms down, which he does pretty quickly.