ADHD / ADD Support Group

Recently I learned about ADD and ADHD. I noticed that I seem to have a lot of the symptoms. I asked my grandparents (I live with them) about it, told them why and explained that I had been researching ADD. They just laughed at me.

Then I tried bringing it up again, and this time they got a real kick out of it, because I said I had accessed a book about mental disorders that doctors use and I believed it verified my suspicions.

Tonight, I did more research, and that brought me here. I was reading some of y'all's posts, and realized that I have quite a lot in common with many of you.

So, I made a list of my symptoms, presented them to my grandmother, and had her check off things that applied to me. Out of 17, she checked 11. But, there were other things that do apply to me in an extreme sense that she couldn't possibly know, or she deemed them "normal", even though I did them excessively.

I will post the list and I want you guys to tell me what you think. My grandmother said I was trying to make an excuse for myself. I told her that was mean and not true. It isnt. These are things that I have problems with and really affect me that I thought I would always have to deal with. She told me that everything on that list applies to me and everyone else in the world at one point or another, and I definitely do not have ADD. I said that the majority of the symptoms happen to me daily. She had nothing to say for a minute, and I sat there trying to disect her thoughts. Then she said that I would have to work on it, and that lots of kids dont get treated for it. So I guess that means she believes I have ADD but we wont bother with getting treatment?

Heres the list:

1) Forgetfulness.
--- I forget everything. I forget what I want to say mid-sentence.

2) Interrupting
--- I do this because if I dont, Ill forget. Sometimes, if I dont it triggers anxiety.

3) Mood Swings and Energy Swings
--- I go from happy to pissed off to everything inbetween with little to no stimulation. I can feel exhausted one minute and really hyper the next. And vice versa.

* Another thing: A lot of the time I am emotionally flat; indifferent. Is that a problem? I also to do things on "autopilot", and Im thinking about something or I am lifeless with no thoughts except for perception of my senses. But if Im not like that and I dont have something really intriguing to capture my thoughts, my brain is going 100 miles a second.

4) Picking, Figeting
--- I do this particularly with my cuticles, usually when Im trying to concentrate or zoning. I also bite the insides of my cheeks and lips, and sometimes "stab" the sensitive areas of my gums with things to inflict pain, just so I can feel something or have some kind of stability, if that makes sense. Also, I noticed I find things in my hands that I cant remember picking up, and theyre usually destroyed when I discover them.

5) Tuning Out & Zoning
--- I can tune out anything that extremely, horrifically intrusive. Especially people's voices. I will stare at their faces while they talk and get so caught up in their expressions and the way they move their lips when they talk I forget that I should be listening. I do this in class with teachers as well, but Im extremely smart so I pick up the peices and figure everything out. Ive done that since Kindergarten, though, so Im quite good at it. I have very good grades.

6) If Im interested in something, I can pay attention very well and remember most things. If something is really captivating, I can be the most focused, absorbed person you've ever seen. I can also force myself to pay attention when Im not interested, but I tend to daydream little bits at a time often, or it gives me a headache or puts me to sleep.

7) Racing Thoughts
--- 90% of the time I am thinking so fast that I cant put my thoughts into words. And when I do, I forget half the idea because Im talking fast so I wont forget and get words jumbled up. I also tend to forget what Im talking about mid-sentence because my mind moves on without me, and I stare off into the distance because it stuns me, then I turn back to the person I was talking to and I have to ask them what we were talking about. THESE DRIVE ME INSANE!!!!!!!!!

8) I Start Tasks, and Dont Finish/Get Sidetracked

9) Do Things "Pollock Style"
--- This is something my dad says when I do something in an extremely difficult way when I could have been done with it in less than a minute. It makes me feel incompetent, but I know it's because I see things differently than others do.

10) Disorganization
--- I lose everything, my room is a mess, I have trouble starting big tasks because I cant plan them very well because I seem to have a mental block or something, and I dont know where to start.

11) Easily Distracted
--- I seem to notice everything, and it makes it hard for me to focus on one thing.

12) Procrastination.
--- Its a cause and effect thing. I procrastinate because of a combination of other symptoms.

13) Left & Right
--- I mix up left and right ALL THE TIME. This really makes me feel stupid. Really. Even when I know in my head, double check, I still manage to not think about it and blurt out the wrong thing. WHY!!?!?!

14) I can try to concentrate on doing one thing, then forget the moment I need to do it, and do the opposite of what I should have done. As in, I throw away the car keys instead of the tray from Taco Bell, and then make it all the way to the car before I realize that I have a tray in my hand and no keys.

15) I go places for particular reasons, get distracted, forget, then leave and then remember what I was in there for however many hours or minutes later. So I go back, thinking about what happened, and do it all over again.

16) Tardiness
--- Im a procrastinator and I dont have aa very good sense of elapsed time.

17) Impulsiveness
--- I do things that sound appealing right then and there without considering any consequences. I hurt a lot of people that way.

18) It took me an hour and a half to type this. And most of it is copied from a list.

Most of these I experience on a daily basis. I had one or two of these symptoms as a small child, and I remember them well. Im fifteen now, and I guess they snowballed, if you know what I mean.

Does it sound like ADD to you? Will my symptoms worsen if I dont get treatment? How do I get treatment? What will they treat me with, if I do have ADD? What symptoms do you have? Does ADD make you do weird things like count your steps and other things you do in sets of twelve? ( I do that. ) Is there any more information or references you could give me to help me? How do I convince my parents/grandparents that this isnt something that I can "work on" and make go away? Or is it? How do I seek a diagnosis?
Posted on 10/02/09, 12:10 am