New Year's Resolutions...For the Children
Now while I am a firm believer you should create your own New Year's resolutions, I thought I'd give some food for thought when it comes to our children. So in no particular order, consider these when considering your own child.
- Be the parent. Your child looks to you for guidance and direction. And it's your responsibility to provide them.
- Practice what you preach. If you tell your child to be considerate of others, step up and do the same. If you're actions are not consistent with your words, the words just don't mean a whole lot.
- Respect your child's other parent. It doesn't matter whether you are married or not, long time divorced or just recently separated. The point being here is your child will certainly benefit in seeing the two persons most important in his life actually getting along.
- Use that DVR or TIVO or better yet, just don't bother watching it. More or less this stems from spending quality time with your child...not with the television. But as I realize most of us have our one (or two) favorite show(s)...just save it until your child is fast asleep.
- Set a good example. This follows a similar theme to an earlier resolution where doing the right thing often teaches your child to do the same.
- Incorporate physical activity and an overall healthy lifestyle into your life. This is all about keeping yourself in good health...so that you can enjoy many many years with your child and your child's child and so on. And following the sentiment from the previous resolution, hopefully this will create the framework for your child to follow as well.
- Do your best to make it to your child's soccer game or dance recital or whatever the event may be. I remember my father being able to make so many of my sporting events growing up and me having an extra bounce in my step seeing him up in the stands. And while my office commitments will occasionally prevent me from making an event, my #1 goal is to be there for each and every one.
- Encourage your child to reach his/her dreams. We all have thoughts on what we would like our children to do, but our goal should be to help our children follow their own hopes and desires.
- Don't be too quick to judge. At one time we were all children, making mistakes along the way. So before getting upset, take a deep breath and remember you were once there as well.
- And don't forget about the hug. A hug is a simple but very important reminder of the unconditional love you have for your child. And while it may not seem appreciated at the time it occurs, I'm pretty confident most children enjoy receiving one.
Happy New Year.
Dr. Jeremy
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7
I think this is very important here. So many people forget that kids are people too and can understand more than we give them credit for. I get so sad when I see adults use kids as a way to hurt another parent....Kids need to be thought of before our own egos....
By awakendwoman January 14, 2009 8:49pm
6
AtticusFinch (No. 5)-- kids love rhyming poetry. I didnt realize it until my sister remarked plaintively that she didnt understand why it took two weeks to teach her kids Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, but it took them five seconds to learn I See London I See France, I see Betsys Underpants! I taught my younger boy *Terence This Is Stupid Stuff* which is a rather complex poem (he liked it because he got to say Stupid, a word I usually frowned on) and even the last line, *Mithradites, he died old* didnt stump him. He is 21 now and still likes to say *Thus Malt does more than Milton can/to justify Gods ways to Man.* The other boy loved Kipling, and will still leave voice mail messages for me by saying *There was a Parsee from whose hat the rays of the sun were reflected with more than Oriental splendour.*
By Appleby January 5, 2009 7:13pm
5
On resolution #9, I try to be empathetic with their feelings. I found that if I can squeeze into their little shoes, and see things from their perspective, it helps me a great deal in understanding and correcting them. They seem to listen more when they know I've connected to them.
And Appleby's comment.... AWESOME! My mother read to my brother and I as long back as I can remember. Rudyard Kipling; Grimm Fairytales that I suspect were of the sort Appleby is suggesting, as the vocabulary was very antiquated and quite fun; Dr. Suess of course, I loved the tongue twisting cantor of the stories. And my personal favorite, POETRY!!! I myself am not a good poet, yet despite my witty prose, you may not know it. I try to rhyme, make the words concise and funny, but at this game, I shall make no money! Being read to was vital in my developement. It helped me relax, learn, escape, imagine, comprehend and process information, and just have fun. Of course I am still inflicted with a most common male disease, I tend to wait till all else fails to read the directions.
By AtticusFinch January 5, 2009 1:17pm
4
My boy grew up while I was boozing and I was a poor parent. One of my many regrets. Good Topic all year round.
By BillyJackTurtle January 4, 2009 11:20pm
3
Being a parent is hard work and I can tell you that nobody could have prepared me for this :)... I love it all the same. Great tips listed here. Thanks for posting it.
By LupusSymptoms January 4, 2009 5:32pm
2
Tell your child you love them everyday
By baylor January 3, 2009 9:39am
1
Read to your child, and when she is old enough and starts to show interest, encourage your child to read to you. And by this I DO NOT MEAN the modern pseudo-reading where a child pokes an electronic wand at a politically correct, sanitized cardboard entity and an electronic voice speaks words that she can echo. THAT IS NOT READING. If your parents never read to you, get a copy of the movie The Princess Bride and you will see exactly the way reading used to be and ought to be.
Read classic old fashioned stories: Rudyard Kiplings Just So Stories, the original undiluted and unbowdlerized stories of Beatrix Potter (did you know that she uses words like *soporific* in her original stories? Even college sophomores would have difficulty with the vocabulary Victorian children heard in their stories!), the Eloise stories, Maurice Sendak ... read the poetry of Shel Silverstein and encourage your child to read these poems to you. And do not neglect the original Grimms Fairy Tales. (Get a copy of The Juniper Tree which has the unprocessed stories.) Many are short and all will make you and your child think and give you things to talk about.
But above all read together and let your child see you reading good books, and keep plenty of good books around your house. Nothing is better for you all.
By Appleby January 3, 2009 8:07am